2185 lines
103 KiB
Plaintext
2185 lines
103 KiB
Plaintext
All's well that ends well - E. A. Poe
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All's well that ends well. -Poe. Bother. -Pooh.
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Always avoid the inevitable
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Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
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Always be smarter than the people who hire you.
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Always remember where you came from so you can return.
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Always store beer in a dark place - Heinlein
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Always tell her she is beautiful.
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Am I The Only One With A Salami In His Trenchcoat?
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America, worst nation in the world save for all the rest.
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American by birth - Southern by the grace of God.
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An atheist has no invisible means of support.
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An attacker must vanquish, a defender need only survive.
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An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.
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An evil man is snared by his own sin.
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An expert is someone from out of town.
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An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind - Ghandi
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An honest politician is one who STAYS bought!
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An idea is not responsible for fools who believe in it.
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An interstellar war can ruin your whole day.
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Anarchy is against the law.
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ANARCHY.COM -> (A)bort, (R)etry, (O)verthrow System
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Anatomically Correct beats Politically Correct any day.
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Ancient Chinese curse:"May you live in interesting times"
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Ancient Evil In Training
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And now for something completely different.
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And now we return you to your (ir)regular conference...
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And on the 8th Day God said, "Murphy, you're in charge."
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And Satan said to God,"But where will you get a lawyer?"
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And she disappeared in a puff of logic.
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and that is how we know the Earth is banana-shaped
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and then the fun began - N. Bonaparte
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And then you typed 'G=C800:5', right?
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And they said unto Jesus, "How the Hell did you do that?!
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And who decides what is just? Who decides what is right?
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and you were expecting something profound & witty?
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And, pray tell, whose imagination are you a figment of?
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Angels and ministers of grace offend us! -- Snakespeare
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Annoy a liberal: Ask them to be truthful.
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Another casualty of the seduction of art. - Hobbes
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Another good mind not yet ruined by higher education!
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Antelope Freeway, 1/64 mile.
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Antifloccinaucinihilipihilificationism rules ok!
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Any priest or shaman may be presumed guilty until proved innocent. - RAH
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Any sufficiently advanced magic looks like technology!
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Any system that relies on human reliability is unreliable
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Anybody seen the internet around here?
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Anyone ever found a use for those tractor feed cutouts?
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot
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Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
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Anything not a constant, is not a commandment from God.
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Anything that kills you makes you... well, dead.
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Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
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Apathy Error: Don't Bother Striking Any Key
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Applicants wanted! - Darth Vader School of Management
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Archaeologist: one whose career lies in ruins
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Are the noises in my head bothering you?
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Are you implying that coconuts are migratory?
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Are you suggesting that coconuts are migratory?
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Are you telling me a 686DX/200 is ALL you got ?
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Are you using Windows, or is that just an XT?
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Argue if you must, just remember I'm right
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Arguments with furniture are rarely productive.
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Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
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As confused as a termite in a yo-yo
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As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
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Ask me anything: if I don't know, I'll make up something.
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Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies...
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Asphault = Proctologist's malpractice insurance
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Assist: v. To increase the factor of incompetency by 1.
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Assumption is the mother of all screwups.
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At last, the Eludium Q36 explosive space modulator
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Attend Miskatonic U. - Why study >lesser< evils?
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Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas. Taking the dog.
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Auntie Em: Hate you. Hate Kansas. Took the Dog. Dorothy.
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Avoid hangovers - stay drunk
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Avoid morning breath... Sleep till noon!
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Avoidence - Surrender, Confrontation - Attack
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Ay, every inch a king. - King Lear
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B: not found, formatting other drives instead....
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Back from the shadows again ...
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Back off man, We're scientists!!!
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Backup aborted: Please remove disk #92 and start over...
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Backup Initiated: Insert disk 1 of 1362.
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Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
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Bad Command or Filename. Or maybe you screwed up.
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Bagpipes are just Hell's way of giving hints.
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Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
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Barney:What happens when you feed a smurf after midnight.
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Basic programmers never die, they gosub and don't return.
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Basic Vampire: If it screams, it's not food... yet.
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Bathing beauty: A girl worth wading for
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BBS: a method to triple your phone bill.
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Be creative - invent a perversion!
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Be moderate in all things, including moderation...
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Be spontaneous.......combust.
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Beam me up, Scotty; this ISN'T the ladies' room!
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Beam's Choice Green Label -- It's SMOOTH!!!!
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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.....
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Been there, done that, got the mouse mat.
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Been there. Done that. Jumped bail.
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Been through Hell?? and what did you bring me??
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Beer is Better: Beer is always in season.
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Beer. It's not just for breakfast anymore!
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BEERWARE: If it works, buy yourself a beer.
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Before making a backup copy, first destroy the original
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Before you see the light, you must die.
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Beheading: The ultimate loss of face.
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Behind every successful man--a surprised mother-in-law.
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Being common isn't one of my strengths.
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Being human does have certain advantages.
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Being ignorant isn't your fault, staying ignorant is.
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Being in beta means never having to say you're sorry.
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Being paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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Believe the road goes on forever and the party never ends.
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Ben Dover & C. Howit Feels -- Attorney's at law
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Best cure for a case of nerves is a case of beer.
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Best file compression around! "DEL *.*" - 100% comp.
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Best thing about the future: it comes one day at a time.
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Better taglines through confiscation.
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Better than a poke in the eye with a stick.
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Between two evils, always pick one you never tried before
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Beware False Messengers, and Trust Only Your Enemies.
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Beware of a tiger in its lair or a moderator in his echo
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Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
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Beware! This is a dangerous product, manuals required.
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Big or small We tax them all.
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Big toe: Feature on man to accommodate coroner's tag.
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Bigomy: one wife too many. Monogamy: same idea.
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Bigot: Anyone who's winning an argument with a liberal
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Bill your doctor for the time spent in the waiting room
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Billy Bob's Road Kill Cafe - You kill'em, we grill'em.
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Bio-Genetix Eng. Labs: "Playing God so you don't have to"
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Birds of a feather fluck together.
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Black holes are big attractions.
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Black Holes are what happens when God divides by Zero
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Black holes suck.
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Blended coffee...todays & yesterdays.
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Blessed are the censors: For They Shall Inhibit the Earth
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Blessed are the censors; they shall inhibit the earth.
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Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.
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Blessed are the pessimists, for they hath made backups
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Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.
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Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage! Blow!
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Bluff means never having to sway your story.
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Bo knows your girlfriend.....
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Boring women have immaculate homes
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Bork was a dork... that's not too political, is it?
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Borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect it back.
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Bought some powdered water.....What do I add??
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Boy, this Soylent Green tastes great! What's the recipe? -SLR
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Brain damage? No thanks, I already have some.
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Brain Disengaged; Call Back Tomorrow.
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Brain the size of a planet and I have to talk to humans.
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Brains...BRAINS! Fresh brai... oh, wrong conference.
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Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore...
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Bring on the dancing girls!
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Bring order to your life, use random numbers.
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Brought to you by your local SPAM Appreciation Society.
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BS (bee ess): n. An uninformed statement.
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Budweiser: Breakfast of Champions
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Bug removal Tagline. Bang forehead here to debug---->@@
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Bureau of Natural Disasters - Planning Division
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Burn the flag. Burn the bra. Burn the bridges behind you.
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Burned out but still glowing!
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Burning houses simply helps keep me from going Sane, Doc.
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But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car
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But Honey, you NEED VGA for Dbase management!
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But I thought YOU did the backups!
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Butcher the Intelligensia in the name of Sanity!
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Buy a Pentium so you can reboot Windows faster!
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Buy OS/2: Keep Bill Gates on his toes.
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By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts.
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By Pendragon's sword the Dark shall fall.
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C A U T I O N - I drive the same way you do.
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C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
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C-4 works much better than a hammer when things get stuck
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C:\CATHOLIC\VATICAN.EXE: Okay program, but no updates, _ever_.
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C:\DAMSEL.EXE x-linked with DISTRESS.COM. RESCUE? (y/n?)
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Caffeine is my only *real* friend...
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CALCULUS..... the agony and dx/dt.
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Call me Ishmael. I won't ANSWER, but..
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Calm down. It's only ones and zeros.
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Can I trade in this life for a full refund?
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Can you believe that thing is STILL moving?
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Can you hold this grenade a second, I dropped the pin...
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Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"
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Canadian Dos prompt= "Like,Insert Disk #1,eh"
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Cannibals send out for pizza boys.
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Carefull, we might be landing on your street
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Carpenter's Rule: Cut to fit; beat into place.
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Catch the Blue Wave!
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Cats--the ultimate agents of Entropy.
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Caution: I drive using The Force
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CCITT- Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
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Cease & Desist citizen, or I'll reduce your head to a fine mist.
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Celebrate your freedom: Read a banned book.
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Celtic Magic? Didn't he play basketball???
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Cement shoes, dirt cheap; ask for Guido.
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Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
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Change is inevitable...except from a vending machine.
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Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry.
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CHASTITY: The most unnatural of sexual perversions.
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Chat mode is DISABLED during Quantum Leap
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Cheap fuses are protected by expensive chips
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Cheer Up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.
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Chef: (shef) A cook who swears in French.
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Chicago: Vaporware of the desperate and scared
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Children: the most common sexually transmitted disease.
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Chile today. Hot tamale.
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Chili, the national food ... Fart, the national odor.
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Chivalry is not dead - it's on life support.
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Choking on another Xanth novel? Try the Heinlein Maneuver
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Christmas is coming, the geese are getting *very* worried
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Chthulhu calls his shots.
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CIA Motto: In God we trust, all others we polygraph
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City Morgue: You stab 'em, we slab 'em.
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Clean this stuff up or we'll all wind up in jail!
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Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Heinlein
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Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am.
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CMOS: Commonly Misunderstood Option Switches
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Cold as Night, Dark as Death
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College is just high school with ashtrays...
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College's don't make fools; they only develop them
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Columbus HAD a fourth ship--it sailed over the edge.
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Combat gear doesn't make a man.....
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Come on Mr. Krinkle tell me why...
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Come on! There's plenty of room out here on this limb!
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Command Not Understood. . . Now erasing Hard Drive
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Commercial Software - The Devils payback!
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Committee: a lifeform with 12 legs and no brain.
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Communism is like one big phone company.
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Compile, run, curse. Recompile, rerun, recurse.
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Computer Excuse #3: Systems analyst needs psychoanalyst
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Computer Hacker Wanted. Must have own axe.
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Confuse your local coroner ... die happy.
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Congress Virus: Overdraws disk space, won't release files
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Congress's road to h*ll is now a 4 lane highway
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Congress:"They have what it takes to take what you got"
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Conspiracy can never replace simple stupidity.
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Consult with a real expert - Call your mother.
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Consult with an Expert - Call your Mother.
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CONSULTANT: Person who makes good on salesman's promises
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Contains less than 2% U.S. RDA for this echo
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Contraceptives: to be used on all conceivable occasions.
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Cover me. I'm going to change lanes.
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Crackpot can't play, he's working on his thesis.
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Cream rises to the top... but then, so does scum...
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Create opportunities week. Blackmail a senior executive.
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Creativity is great, plagiarism's faster.
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Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
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Crime, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs... God, I love Congress!
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Criminal lawyer?...Isn't that redundant?
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Crossbows don't kill people; quarrels kill people.
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Cry "ribbit" and let slip the frogs of war!
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Cthulhu calls.........COLLECT!
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Cthulhu in '96: why settle for the LESSER evil?
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Cthulhu loves you...on a Ritz cracker.
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Cthulhu loves you...on a sesame bun.
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Cthulhu loves you...with a tossed salad and white wine.
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Cthulhu loves you...with an apple in your mouth.
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Cthulhu Saves! ... in case he's hungry later.
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Cthulhu saves... passes to Hastur... the crowd goes mad!!
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Cthulu for President: Why settle for the Lesser Evil??
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Cthulu fthagn! Cthulu fthagn! Cthulu fthagn! Oh, wow, that really ...
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Cure for postal strikes: mail them their strike pay.
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat, my 12 gauge did..
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat. I got `em with the mower!
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Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect
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Cursor: What you become when your system crashes.
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Custer was fitted for an Arrow shirt.
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Cut my pizza into six pieces please. I can't eat eight.
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cyberpunk (si'-ber-punk) n. - a computer with an attitude
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Damn it Jim, I'm an Alzheimer's patient, not a...uh...uh.
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Damn the documentation, full speed ahead!
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Darth Vader: Robert Dole's long-lost half brother.
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Dawn: The time when people of reason go to bed.
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Dead reckoning: The method of navigation by a driver.
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Death before dishonor and either before soap operas.
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Death before dishonor, neither before breakfast.
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Death Comes as the end...
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Death is not the end; there remains the litigation.
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Death, Life, and Infinite are the only constants.
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Decadent Capitalist and proud of it!
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Deep down...I'm really a pretty superficial kind of guy.
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Def. of a beetle : A fly on steroids.
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Def. of Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
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Defeat may test you. It need not stop you.
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Define the universe. Give three examples.
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Deicide - The Extinction of All That's Holy........
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Democracy-A catchword used by Democrats and Republicans
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Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.
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Deny everything - remove all evidence - & make counter-accusations!
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Department of Redundancy Department
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Desperate times call for cheap shots.
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Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
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Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
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Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
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Did you hear that? They've shut down the main reactor!
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Didn't I meet you in some other hallucination??
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Die: To stop sinning suddenly.
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Difference between a virus & windows? Viruses never fail.
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Difference between Genius & Stupidity? Genius has limits.
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Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
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Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
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Ding, Dong the Lich is dead
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Dip it in chocolate, it'll be fine.
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Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
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Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else get your way.
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Diplomacy: The patriotic lying for one's country.
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Dirty Old Men: Men who haven't quite given up women yet..
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Disclose classified information only when a NEED TO KNOW
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Discoveries are made by not following instructions,
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Divers do it deeper and stay down longer.
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Divorce is not an effective deterrent to marriage.
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Do cross-eyed dyslexics read normally?
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Do Files get embarassed when they are unzipped?
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Do I even WANT ancestors? Some of those I found I wish I could lose.
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Do I ice her? Do I marry her? Which wunna deez?
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Do it tommorrow. You've made enough mistakes for one day
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DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality.
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Do Not Attempt to Traverse a Chasm in Two Leaps
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Do not look in laser with remaining eye.
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Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you!
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Do Winchesters sneeze when they catch a virus?
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Do you multitask or just run Windoze?
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Do you prefer gin and platonic or scotch and sofa?
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Docs? We don need no stinkeeng docs!
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Docs? Who wants to look at the Docs. Nurses are better...
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Docs? Why would I want to look at the Docs. Nurses are better :)
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Doctors bury mistakes. Architects plant ivy.
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Documentation - The worst part of programming.
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Documentation is for people who can't read.
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Documentation is for wimps who cant read listings or the object code.
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Does "PIRATE" software come with a treasure map?
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Does a Kzin fear to follow where a Puppeteer leads?
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Does history record any case in which the majority was right? - Heinlein
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Does killing time harm eternity?
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Does Microsoft mean "small and limp"?
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Does the term 'Rational Anarchist' ring a bell?
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Doing strange things in the name of art.
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Don't 'yield' to temptation. Go and hunt it down...
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Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.
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Don't be silly... of course we'll survive...
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Don't be stupid; of *course* we intend to resist you!
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Don't bother pressing that key. There is no Esc.
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Don't bother pushing that key. There is no Esc
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Don't call me a sexist, you bimbo!
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Don't call me ignorant, you supercilious twit.
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Don't confuse me with facts.
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Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers!
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Don't drink and park...Accidents cause people.
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Don't give me that "kinkier than thou" attitude ...!
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Don't just stand there...KNEEL!!
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Don't let me get too deep. It's already too deep in here.
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Don't let school interfere with your education.
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Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
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Don't look conspicuous-it draws fire.
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Don't look for flaws as you go through life.
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Don't meddle in the affairs of Wizards...
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Don't mess with the Zombie, @TO@
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Don't push it, you fool! That's the History Eraser button!
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DON'T read the manual! Just WING that sucker!
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Don't run away, it's only me...
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Don't steal...the government hates competition.
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Don't take criticism from just anybody.
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Don't take life seriously...it isn't permanent.
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Don't take life seriously; You won't get out alive anyway
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Don't take life so seriously. It's not forever.
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Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get
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Don't try to have the last word. You might get it. - Heinlein
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Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
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Don't vote - it only encourages them.
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Don't worry . . . everything is out of control
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Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo
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Don't worry, Inspector. Just a swamp cult, no big deal...
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Don't worry... It's under warranty.
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Dorothy- hate OZ, took shoes, find your own way home Toto
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DOS Perot: you boot, it decides whether it wants to run.
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Dracula was a vein man...
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Drag me, drop me. Treat me like an object.
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Dragon? What dragon? You said we were looking for a worm.
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Dragons: Friendly Toasters.
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Drilling for oil is boring.
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Drink till she's cute. Stop before you get married.
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Drink your coffee! There are people in India sleeping.
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Drive A: format failed. Restarting with drive C:.
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Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
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Drugs: n - Substance Programmers use while programming.
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Duct tape, not The Force, holds the universe together.
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Dude did you see her? I think I'm pitching a tent!
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Due to inflation, all clouds will now be lined with zinc.
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Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me.
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Dusk lures like a lyre beckoning the quietude
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Dyslexics of the world untie!
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Early to bed, early to rise; makes people suspicious.
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Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail your friends.
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Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can.
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Earth: mostly harmless.
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Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway...
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Eat more lamb. 10,000,000 coyotes can't all be wrong.
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Eat the rich - the poor are tough and stringy.
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Eat yogurt and get cultured.
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Egad, I believe I've blown another synapse. -SLR
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ELECTROCUTION : High Tech Burning at the Stake!
|
||
Employees are instructed to restrict their orgasms to the lunch hour.
|
||
End rush-hour traffic now! Legalize vehicular weaponry!
|
||
Enter any 12-digit prime number to continue.
|
||
Equal Opportunity: The prospect of pillage for the meek
|
||
EROTIC: using a feather. KINKY: using the whole duck!
|
||
Eternity? Straight ahead, turn left at infinity.
|
||
Ettore's law: the other line always moves faster
|
||
Eval Day 1,094,583,217 * I Support Shareware!
|
||
Eval Day 15 * Assimilate culture? (Y/n)
|
||
Even after fusion, confusion remains.
|
||
Even Ockham occasionally cut himself shaving.
|
||
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
|
||
Ever meet a Sysop who would admit the problem was his?
|
||
Ever notice how much Cheeze Whiz resembles silicone caulking?
|
||
Every absurdity has @TO@ to defend it.
|
||
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
|
||
Every child should be given the desire to learn.
|
||
Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.
|
||
Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
|
||
Every saint has a past and every sinner a future - Wilde
|
||
Every Silver lining has a clone around it.
|
||
Every solution breeds new problems.
|
||
Every sun has a golden lining
|
||
Every time a Country singer dies, ten more pop up.
|
||
Every time I use a MicroSoft product I feel "dirty."
|
||
Everybody lies about sex. - Robert A. heinlein
|
||
Everybody loves a moose; they just don't know it.
|
||
Everybody must believe - I believe I'll have another beer
|
||
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have any film.
|
||
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
|
||
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
|
||
EVERYONE is weird...some of us are proud of it.
|
||
Everything @TO@ does is needlessly violent.
|
||
Everything flows and nothing stays. -- Heraclitus
|
||
Everything I do is needlessly violent.
|
||
Everything I like is illegal, immoral or expensive!
|
||
Evolution is God's way of issuing updates.
|
||
Excuse me while I change into something more formidable.
|
||
Excuse me while I crouch down behind my asbestos shield.
|
||
Excuse me, did you say something?
|
||
Exercise before kinky sex . . . be fit to be tied.
|
||
Experience is directly proportional to ruined equipment
|
||
Experience=a name everyone gives to his mistakes.
|
||
Experiencing synaptical difficulties; Please stand by.
|
||
Explain counter-clockwise to someone with a digital watch
|
||
Extinct species will never be Born Again.
|
||
Extra Credit: Define the universe. Give 3 examples.
|
||
Extreme Conditions Demand Extreme Responses.
|
||
Exxon - greasing the coastline for smoother boating!
|
||
Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a side order of fries
|
||
Face reality; yet, indulge yourself in fantasy and fairy tales.
|
||
Fact. Stranger than any science fiction.
|
||
Facts, though interesting, are irrelevant.
|
||
Fahr-ferg-nug-en: German for "Can't afford the Mercedes."
|
||
Failure reading left hemisphere <A>bort <R>etry <F>rolic?
|
||
Failure: The path of least persistence.
|
||
Falling ego zone. Keep ID covered at all times.
|
||
Famous Last Words - "The backups can wait."
|
||
Famous Last Words: Look, I'm driving with my eyes closed!
|
||
Famous words, "Trust me, I'm a consultant"
|
||
Fanatics do everything with unmatched dedication.
|
||
Fasten your seat belt--I wanna try something.
|
||
Faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey, More Money!
|
||
Fatal Error: Size Of Thought Exceeds Available Memory.
|
||
Fatal Error: User Executed
|
||
Fear not, for I have given you authority
|
||
Fear the Stark Fist of Removal.
|
||
Features should be discovered, not documented
|
||
Feel lucky???? Update your software!
|
||
Few hours in life are more agreeable than afternoon tea
|
||
Fight crime....shoot back
|
||
Fight Crime: Shoot a politician
|
||
File not found. Delete *.* and change directory? (Y/N)_
|
||
Fingers not found - Pound head on keyboard to continue.
|
||
Finish the project. We'll buy you a new family.
|
||
First listen to sermon, THEN eat missionary.
|
||
First rule of adaption: only when evolving.
|
||
First rule of marriage: If YOU'RE Right, APOLOGIZE FAST!
|
||
First, push the button. Then find out what it does.
|
||
First, we'll kill all the programmers
|
||
Flying is not dangerous.... CRASHING is dangerous.
|
||
Food, glorious food. Hot sausage with mustard....
|
||
Fools fight one another, but wise men agree together.
|
||
For a good time, don't call me.
|
||
For all my dreams are haunted by a fire on the moon.
|
||
For God's sake get the hell off... she's dead, Jim!
|
||
For Reply, send a self-abused stomped Antelope to...
|
||
FOR SALE: Used Dyson sphere, needs work. Priced to sell.
|
||
For sincere personal advice, page your sysop at 3 A.M.
|
||
For those who like peace & quiet: a phoneless cord.
|
||
For yerz ago i cudent evin spel injuneer. Now i are one
|
||
Forego novocaine: Transcend dental medication.
|
||
Forget patience! I'm gonna kill something...
|
||
Forget the manual, phone the author at home!
|
||
Forgive your enemies but never forget their faces
|
||
FREE PRIZE! NO PURCHASE NEEDED! (Details inside box)
|
||
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
|
||
Friends don't let friends use Prodigy
|
||
Friends: People who dislike the same people we do.
|
||
From IRS Agents that go bump in the night, deliver us.
|
||
From the pastor of the 1st Church of Electron Flux
|
||
Fun with Greek #4: Fee, <20>, fo, fum!
|
||
Funny how life imitates LSD...
|
||
Funny, only sensible people agree with me.
|
||
Furry Weddings are were "groom" is a verb, not a noun
|
||
Gargling twice daily is a good way to see if your neck leaks.
|
||
Gee, Mr. Wizard! Aren't nuclear reactors dangerous?
|
||
Geee, is that what static electricity does to cpu chips?
|
||
Genetic engineering: heir styling.
|
||
Genius is ten percent inspiration and 50% capital gains.
|
||
Gentleman: One who can play bagpipes but chooses not to.
|
||
Get a taste of religion. Bite a preacher.
|
||
Get the facts first - you can distort them later !
|
||
Getting caught is the mother of invention.
|
||
Ghosts are merely unsubstantiated roomers.
|
||
Gimme $50 Or I'll Call Your Religion A Cult.
|
||
Gimme a match, I think my gas tank is empty.
|
||
Give 'em a fair trial, then hang 'em!
|
||
Give me a gun and I'll kill all the liberals.
|
||
Give my lawfirm a call sometime: Dewey, Cheetum & Howe.
|
||
Give sadists a fair crack at the whip.
|
||
Give up, you'll only live till you die.
|
||
Go ahead, jump. 100,000 lemmings can't be wrong.
|
||
Go ahead, speak your mind! I'll enjoy the silence.
|
||
Go climb a gravity well.
|
||
God created all men. But Sam Colt made them equal.
|
||
God created anchovies. Satan put them on pizza.
|
||
God fights on the side with the heaviest artilliary.--RAH
|
||
God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place.
|
||
Good aim means never having to say you're sorry.
|
||
Gosh I miss George. Heck, I even miss Jimmy!
|
||
Gotta run. My neighbors just sighted Elvis making crop circles.
|
||
Government - the only vessel known to leak from the top
|
||
Government Tagline. Takes up space, no known function.
|
||
Government: we can't do that, it makes too much sense.
|
||
Graduate of the Mad Max School of Defensive Driving
|
||
Great minds always meet at infinity.
|
||
Great minds twist alike.
|
||
Great! She's naked and I forgot the rope!!
|
||
Great; Custer had a plan, too.
|
||
Gross Ignorance: 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.
|
||
Growing old is mandatory... Growing up is optional.
|
||
Guilt trips: the nuclear weapon of relationships.
|
||
Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
|
||
Gun Control means .174" @ 100yds.
|
||
Gun Control means using 2 hands
|
||
Gunpowder and alcohol DO mix - but it tastes awful!
|
||
Guns don't kill people. I kill people.
|
||
Guns don't kill people. Moderators do.
|
||
Guns don't kill people. Moderators kill people.
|
||
Guns don't kill. Fast-moving projectiles do.
|
||
Guru Meditation Error -- Insufficent User
|
||
H*LL (n): Backing up a 600 meg drive with 360K floppies
|
||
H*ll hath no fury like a woman scorned.
|
||
H*ll, if I was sane why would I be here?
|
||
Hand me that dolphin burger. Yeah, the one in styrofoam.
|
||
Hand me that planet, will you?
|
||
Hard Work never killed anyone, so why chance it?
|
||
Has that file been saved? No, but we're praying for it.
|
||
Have a nice day - unless you've made other plans
|
||
Have an affair. It will help break up the monogamy.
|
||
Have I ever claimed to be sane?
|
||
Have no fear - I never attack lesser beings.
|
||
Have you clubbed an ignorant human today?
|
||
Have you clubbed an ignorant kitten today?
|
||
Have you crashed your Windows today?
|
||
Have you hugged an electric fence today?
|
||
Haven't you got any pleasant facts I can face?
|
||
HD Crash: (A)bort,(R)etry,(S)tart Self-Destruct Sequence
|
||
He did say cleared for final ......didnt he ???
|
||
He died to take away your sins, not your mind.
|
||
He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly
|
||
He has a train of thought. You have a tricycle...
|
||
He has all the charm of a dirty Christmas card.
|
||
He isnt dead; He's electroencephalographically challenged
|
||
He knows little who will tell his wife all he knows
|
||
He ran for the curb but I bagged him before he made it.
|
||
He said "KUNG FU!" I said "M-16." He said "Peace Brother"
|
||
He stalks to the beat of a violent state of time ..
|
||
He was ever greater than his opportunities.
|
||
He who dies with the highest upgrade wins.
|
||
He who has never hoped can never despair. -- G.B. Shaw
|
||
He who hesitates is trampled by the mob.
|
||
He who laughs last probably backed up his hard disk...
|
||
He who lives by the sword gets shot with a AK47
|
||
He who steps on others to reach the top has good balance.
|
||
He'll feel a lot better once we robbed a couple banks.
|
||
He's a SOB -- but at least he's *our* SOB.
|
||
He's dead Dave, everyone's dead, everyone is dead Dave!
|
||
He's dead Jim, kick him yourself and see.
|
||
He's dead, Jim; kick him yourself if you don't believe me.
|
||
He's not a lousy pilot, he's gravitationaly challenged.
|
||
He's not a politician; he's just ethically challenged.
|
||
He's not dead, Jim. He's just considering moving to Seattle.
|
||
He's not drunk; He's neurologically challenged.
|
||
Headline: War dims hope for peace.
|
||
Health tip: Red meat IS good. Blue fuzzy meat is BAD.
|
||
Heaven doesn't want me & Hell's afraid I'll take over.
|
||
Heavy rain: What you get 2 hours after washing your car.
|
||
Hee, hee, eees beeg trouble for moose and squirrel...
|
||
Heisenberg really wasn't certain about this.
|
||
Heisenburg slept here... or did he?
|
||
Helicopters don't fly; they beat the Air into Submission.
|
||
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned
|
||
Hell hath no fury like vested interest masquerading as moral principle.
|
||
Hell hath no misery like a backup ignored.
|
||
Hell is empty... but our Congress is full. Hmmm........
|
||
Help fight against a cure for nymphomania.
|
||
Help Prevent Birth Defects; Castrate a RedNeck!
|
||
Here is my fist, please run towards it very fast.
|
||
Here, doggie. Chase the nice stick of dynamite.
|
||
Here, you go first, you're immune to bullets.
|
||
Hermits have no sense of peer pressure.
|
||
Hero for Hire - Dragons Slain.
|
||
Hey, buddy ya need a Comp Sci degree? How about a watch?
|
||
Hey, Santa, how much for your list of naughty girls?
|
||
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's Hand Grenades I throw!
|
||
Hi! I'm heavily armed, easily bored, & off medication.
|
||
Hi, I'm from the government. I'm here to help you.
|
||
Hi, Mr. Rex! I'm Barney!...I love you...you love m.....*CHOMP!!!!*
|
||
High message: 943432. Message you last read: 59
|
||
Highballing the skyways between the stars
|
||
Higher Versions mean more bugs found...
|
||
History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
|
||
History Repeats Itself Because Nobody Listens
|
||
Hit and run means never having to say you're sorry.
|
||
Hmmmmm.... never tried an atomic bomb before.
|
||
Ho! Ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
|
||
Ho! Haha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! WHACK!
|
||
Homeless man's sign: Will be President for Food.
|
||
Honest, Officer! The dwarf was on fire when I got here!
|
||
Honest, Officer! The smurf was on fire when I got here!
|
||
Honey, your IQ test came back. It's negative.
|
||
Honk if you like obscene gestures!
|
||
Honk if you're illiterate
|
||
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.
|
||
Horn broke...watch for finger.
|
||
Hostages? What do you mean, I thought they were targets..
|
||
Hot Tip #5: The light at the end of a tunnel is a train
|
||
House physician - a misnomer for a carpenter/repairman.
|
||
How about a 7-day wait period on buying Congressmen?
|
||
How can I miss you if you don't go away?
|
||
How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?
|
||
How come this jacket they gave me doesn't have sleeves?
|
||
How do we know you really have those magic powers?
|
||
How do we know you're the *real* Angel of Death?
|
||
How do you call a *very* large cat wearing a rising-sun headband?
|
||
How do you pronounce my name? With reverence.
|
||
How many cat skeletons does it take to fill a tree?
|
||
How the hell does this thing work?
|
||
How will banning *MY* firearms reduce crime?
|
||
How's "Nuke 'em All!" for strategy?
|
||
However subtle the wizard; a knife in the back will cramp his style.
|
||
Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
|
||
Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
|
||
Hunting is no fun when the rabbit has the gun.
|
||
Hush boy, you'll annoy the Overlords.
|
||
Hydrogen bombs are great party gags.
|
||
I *could* be arguing in my spare time.
|
||
I *told* the Muse I'm not a masochist, so why is the whip out again?
|
||
I abstain from wine, women and song; mostly song.
|
||
I Almost Saw Elvis - Then My Shovel Broke...
|
||
I always poach my Rats...lowers the cholesterol...
|
||
I always use the goodest English.
|
||
I am =NOT= illiterate. I know who my parents are.
|
||
I am a man more sinned against than sinning. - King Lear
|
||
I am a mental tourist, my mind wanders.
|
||
I am committed--or should be.
|
||
I am firm. You're stubborn. He's pigheaded.
|
||
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
|
||
I am Ingnio Montoya. You stole my tagline. Prepare to die.
|
||
I am not a human! I am an animal! er...wait..
|
||
I am not an animal! I am ... well, not an animal.
|
||
I am NOT anthropomorphic! Now get off my tail...
|
||
I am not antisocial, I'm just not real friendly...
|
||
I am not arguing with you, I'm telling you.
|
||
I am not conceited! I just hate mortals.
|
||
I am not young enough to know everything...
|
||
I am the neurosis that requires a $500-an-hour shrink!
|
||
I am the terror that posts in the night.
|
||
I am their leader, which way did they go?
|
||
I am tolerant of your (fruitcake) beliefs
|
||
I am tolerant of your (pagan) beliefs.
|
||
I am torn by conflicting apathies.
|
||
I became a power user, I bought 30 unformatted floppies.
|
||
I believe in the infliction of pain for the sake of art.
|
||
I beta test co unication softwFEL87=\d+A$ NO CARRIER
|
||
I came, I saw, I had no idea what was going on, so I left
|
||
I can count even higher if I take my shoes off.
|
||
I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
|
||
I can walk on water...........I stagger on alcohol.
|
||
I can't be stupid, I completed third grade!
|
||
I CAN'T go to h*ll, they don't want me.
|
||
I carry a gun 4 days a week. You guess which 4.
|
||
I couldn't repair the brakes, so I made your horn louder.
|
||
I cut it three times and it's still too short!
|
||
I debug with a magnet.
|
||
I didn't create reality...I'm just trapped in it!
|
||
I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.
|
||
I didn't wake up grouchy... I let her sleep.
|
||
I dislike killing my guests - Steven Brust
|
||
I do a weekly format In case I accidently backup c drive.
|
||
I do everything better when I'm naked.
|
||
I do whatever my Rice Crispies tell me to do.
|
||
I don't do jogging, it makes my beer all foamy
|
||
I don't do Windows. But OS/2 does. Very well.
|
||
I don't get mad...I just delete your COMMAND.COM
|
||
I don't have a problem with GOD, it's his FAN CLUB I hate
|
||
I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
|
||
I don't have any solution, but I admire the problem.
|
||
I don't know what I like, but I know what art is.
|
||
I don't like violence but I'm very good at it
|
||
I don't recall running for this office.
|
||
I don't suffer from mental illness...I enjoy it!!!
|
||
I don't think Mr. Ranger is gonna like this, Yogi.
|
||
I Don't Wanna Overthrow the Govt, I Wanna Fire'em.!!
|
||
I don't want more, I want it all!
|
||
I Don't Want The World, I Just Want Your Half.
|
||
I Don't Want The World, I want the universe.
|
||
I don't want to be literate, I just want to program.
|
||
I donated my cat to the local Chinese restaurant.
|
||
I escaped from a political correction facility...
|
||
I even tried to reformat it, but still can't read my file
|
||
I fart in your general direction! -John Cleese
|
||
I feel a random act of violence coming on...
|
||
I FELT something was wrong. Multitasking causes schizophrenia.
|
||
I found my x-girlfriend in a find-a-fiend add.
|
||
I gave her the ring, she gave me the finger.
|
||
I get the news I need on the weather report.
|
||
I got a life once. Traded it in for a bigger hard disk.
|
||
I had a cat once. Tasted like chicken.
|
||
I had a vile comment once, but it escaped -Saint
|
||
I had one just like it.... only different.
|
||
I harbor no grudges, only angry memories.
|
||
I hate the way he says "Interesting Problem."
|
||
I have a 486, but a .357 is much faster.
|
||
I have a black belt in haiku.
|
||
I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it.
|
||
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
|
||
I have an interesting way of my words structuring.
|
||
I have an OS/2 suit - It's multithreaded.
|
||
I have my priorities straight-it's the demands that are screwed up.
|
||
I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it well.
|
||
I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence...
|
||
I have the heart of a young boy - in a jar on my desk.
|
||
I have the simplest of tastes. The best is satisfactory.
|
||
I haven't killed anyone yet. Help me keep it that way.
|
||
I hear that it's Tourist Season in Florida.
|
||
I hunt flies with a sledge hammer....and get em!!!
|
||
I intend to live long enough to see my enemies die.
|
||
I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!
|
||
I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
|
||
I just tested out my pitbull. Ever heard a mime scream?
|
||
I know so little, but I know it fluently.
|
||
I like os2 as much as the next fanatic!
|
||
I like to leave messages *before* the beep.
|
||
I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
|
||
I like to throw boomerangs to dogs.
|
||
I live in a quiet neighborhood, they use silencers
|
||
I live on good soup, not on fine words. - Moliere
|
||
I live to serve the public. How'd you like to be cooked?
|
||
I Love Animals......They're Delicious!
|
||
I love cats. On a good night, I can eat 5 or 6 of 'em...
|
||
I love standards! Such a variety to choose from!
|
||
I love the smell of napalm in the morning!
|
||
I love the sound of silence. Say what's on your mind.
|
||
I love you, you love me, Barney ate my fa-mi-ly...
|
||
I M a tru beleever in hour edukashun sistum.
|
||
I may be wrong, but I'm not uncertain.
|
||
I may have my faults but being wrong isn't one of them.
|
||
I may not always be NICE, but I'm always GOOD. }}}:)
|
||
I may not be smart, but I can lift heavy things.
|
||
I may work slow, but I do poor work
|
||
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
|
||
I never liked crayons much. They just don't have any flavor at all.
|
||
I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.
|
||
I never said I was perfect, but I never denied it!
|
||
I nows is graadiated froum Hi Skule.
|
||
I offer you your enemies.
|
||
I only drink to make other people seem interesting
|
||
I only drink when I'm alone or with someone.
|
||
I Only See In Infrared.
|
||
I passed my ethics course. I cheated, of course...
|
||
I played poker w/ tarot cards-got a flush & 5 people died
|
||
I procrastinate, therefore I will be.
|
||
I program like a MAN. I use COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE.
|
||
I put hard wood floors over carpeting.
|
||
I put on women's clothing, And hang around in bars
|
||
I quit drinking/smoking/&sex once.Very boring 15mins.
|
||
I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
|
||
I refuse to answer on the grounds..in the air maybe...
|
||
I refuse to go to a doctor who believes in reincarnation.
|
||
I run stop signs; I don't believe what I read.
|
||
I said Vulcan MIND meld, not MIME meld. Sorry, Marcel....
|
||
I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.
|
||
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
|
||
I saw this in a cartoon once, but I think I can do it...
|
||
I saw what you did, and would like your phone #.
|
||
I see that your second lobotomy finally took hold.
|
||
I see your .44 and raise you a GAU-8A.
|
||
I should have known, you'd bid me farewell
|
||
I shpeak seeks different langwages, Eenlish da bast.
|
||
I stepped on a Tetanus needle today..... now what?
|
||
I still miss my exwife, but my aim is getting better...
|
||
I still Miss my wife. But with this new laser Sight...
|
||
I stink, therefore I'm Spam.
|
||
I SWEAR I thought she was 18!
|
||
I think ... therefore I am overqualified.
|
||
I think he's from the shallow end of the gene pool.
|
||
I think I'll wait for the 80986.
|
||
I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS.
|
||
I think.... therefore I am conservative.
|
||
I thought you would've ducked.... honest.
|
||
I toast...therefore I am.
|
||
I tried being reasonable once, I didn't like it.
|
||
I tried switching to gum but couldn't keep it lit.
|
||
I tried to contain myself, but I escaped.
|
||
I turned in Schroedinger for Animal Cruelty...
|
||
I used to be a coyote, but I'm alright nooow!
|
||
I used to be sane once, didn't care for it much...
|
||
I used to jog, but the ice kept falling out of my glass
|
||
I used to play with my food, but I kept losing...
|
||
I want to live forever, and so far so good.
|
||
I was a dirty young man - I haven't changed.
|
||
I was gonna be a barber but neurosurgery pays better.
|
||
I was there. I saw it happen. You can trust me.
|
||
I was walking on water, or was that *under* water?
|
||
I went mad once. Did me a world of good.
|
||
I went to court for a parking ticket. I pleaded insanity
|
||
I will not squeak chalk. (with appropriate squeaks)
|
||
I wish I had a lower IQ so I could enjoy your company!
|
||
I wish my brain had expansion slots.
|
||
I wish scripts would do what I think I tell them
|
||
I wish you wouldn't sharpen your teeth when you say that.
|
||
I would have got away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids!!
|
||
I would say more,but I'm<>limited to only 57 characters here.
|
||
I would strongly oppose apathy, if I cared...
|
||
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
|
||
I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I'm on the last one.
|
||
I'd love to, but I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
|
||
I'd love to, but my bathroom tiles need grouting.
|
||
I'd offer everyone a Twinkie, but I'm not the host.
|
||
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
|
||
I'll be mellow when I'm dead.
|
||
I'll bring the Chtorr: you bring the barbeque sauce.
|
||
I'll have one brain on drugs with bacon and toast.
|
||
I'll have what the guy on the floor is having.
|
||
I'll never forget you -- you're too weird.
|
||
I'll never get off this planet.
|
||
I'll play fair if I get to make up the rules
|
||
I'm a belligerent omnivore -- I eat vegetarians.
|
||
I'm a modemer & I'm OK, I post all night & I sleep all day.
|
||
I'm a paranoid hypochondriac enamored with reality.
|
||
I'm a peaceful man. I vote to kill all weapon makers.
|
||
I'm a perfectionist with other people's work.
|
||
I'm a very modest man, and damned proud of it.
|
||
I'm an alien, an illegal alien!
|
||
I'm an anti-solipsist: everyone/thing exists except me.
|
||
I'm an antisolipsist: Everybody exists except me
|
||
I'm an Englishman in New York!
|
||
I'm an OS/2 developer...I don't NEED a life!
|
||
I'm another roadkill on the Information Superhighway.
|
||
I'm BETA testing my girlfriend. Bug report follows
|
||
I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing.
|
||
I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.
|
||
I'm evil... I *LIKE* being evil...
|
||
I'm from the government. I'm here to help you.
|
||
I'm going to live forever!...or die trying.
|
||
I'm growing older, but not up.....
|
||
I'm happiest when I'm doing the cooking.
|
||
I'm having an out of money experience.
|
||
I'm having this tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle
|
||
I'm heavily armed, easily bored & off my medication...
|
||
I'm heavily armed, easily upset, and off the medication.
|
||
I'm immortal. I'm bored. Let's party.
|
||
I'm just here for moral support. . . ignore the gun.
|
||
I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
|
||
I'm not a mercenary; killing is more of a hobby with me.
|
||
I'm not a shyster, I'm a QUACK.
|
||
I'm NOT a vampire - I just eat like one...
|
||
I'm not arrogant, I'm just better than you.
|
||
I'm not Canadian although I tend to like their bacon.
|
||
I'm not crazy..I just have a unique sense of reality.
|
||
I'm not hostile! I'll kill the #%! that said that!
|
||
I'm not insane; Just pschologically challenged.
|
||
I'm not lost, I'm locationally challenged.
|
||
I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
|
||
I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
|
||
I'm not perfect. (but my inner self is)
|
||
I'm not perfect. (but my subconcious is)
|
||
I'm not prejudiced; I hate everybody
|
||
I'm not stupid, I'm just "politically correct."
|
||
I'm not stupid, I'm not expendable, and I'm not going!
|
||
I'm on top of the world. To bad there's no air here.
|
||
I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
|
||
I'm part Scotch -- my other part's water.
|
||
I'm perfect, other people just screw up my plans.
|
||
I'm practicing assertiveness. Do you think that's okay?
|
||
I'm pretty cool, Beavis, but I can't change the future...
|
||
I'm really imprinted with the quality of this conference.
|
||
I'm scared of the dark.. the government's in it.
|
||
I'm Seymour Cash of the law firm Dowie, Screwem, & Howe
|
||
I'm sorry, but my opinion is ROM burned.
|
||
I'm sorry, you are not cleared for that information.
|
||
I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.
|
||
I'm The Best at what I do, and what I do isn't very nice.
|
||
I'm the creature that goes bump in the night.
|
||
I'm the person your mother warned you about
|
||
I'm weird, but around here it's barely noticeable.
|
||
I've already told you more than I know.
|
||
I've been pursuing a path of alternate reality
|
||
I've committed adultery in my heart many times
|
||
I've lost my sense of direction; which way to the bar?
|
||
I, myself, AM strange and unusual...
|
||
Idiocy is an inbred genetic trait of all politicians.
|
||
Idiot (id-ee-it) n.-> One who disagrees with me.
|
||
If a bear is chasing you please don't run this way.
|
||
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
|
||
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
|
||
If a thing is worth doing at all, it's worth doing badly.
|
||
If anything -can't- go wrong, it will.
|
||
If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs
|
||
If at first you don't succeed, destroy the evidence.
|
||
If at first you don't succeed, lower your standards.
|
||
If at first you don't succeed, put it out for beta test
|
||
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
|
||
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you...
|
||
If at first you don't succeed, tell her another lie.
|
||
If at first you don't succeed, that means you're average. <20>
|
||
If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
|
||
If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.
|
||
If at first you don't suceed, you fail.
|
||
If everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
|
||
If God wanted us to go METRIC Jesus would've had 10 disciples not 12.
|
||
If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
|
||
If I knew how to spell, I could use a dictionary.
|
||
If I melt dry ice, I can go swimming without getting wet.
|
||
If I offend thee... ...tough!
|
||
If I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
|
||
If I want your opinion, I'll read your entrails.
|
||
If I wanted flames, I'd sell my soul to the Devil.
|
||
If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
|
||
If ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.
|
||
If it ain't broke yet, let me have a shot at it.
|
||
If it ain't broke, hit it harder.
|
||
If it ain't broken, play with it till it is.
|
||
If it doesn't work, change the documentation.
|
||
If it doesn't work, it doesn't matter how fast it doesn't work.
|
||
If it don't mean a thing, it ain't information. <Fez,Synners>
|
||
If it isn't broken, I can fix it.
|
||
If it jams, force it...If it breaks, it needed replacing.
|
||
If it moves shoot it, when its dead paint it green.
|
||
If it screams, it's not food.........yet.
|
||
If it walks out of your refrigerator, LET IT GO!
|
||
If it works, something went wrong.
|
||
If it's glowing, don't eat it...
|
||
If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
|
||
If its Tourist Season, why can't we shoot 'em ???
|
||
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
|
||
If people can't communicate, they could at least shut up.
|
||
If she won't live forever, then why give her a diamond?
|
||
If someone shoots me, I get to keep the bullet.
|
||
If stupidity was a survival value, he would live forever!
|
||
If stupidity was painful, then people would get help.
|
||
If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU.
|
||
If the enemy is within range, so are you.
|
||
If the facts are against you, argue the law.
|
||
If the law is against you, argue the facts.
|
||
If the mail wants me so badly, _it_ can walk to _me_.
|
||
If they catch us we're dead." "I've been dead before."
|
||
If they put your brain in a bird, it would fly backward.
|
||
If they're waving, where's the rest of their fingers?
|
||
If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
|
||
If this isn't war, why is CNN massing on the border?
|
||
If this was a real emergency, you'd've been trampled
|
||
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
|
||
If users can't read the manual, give them the source code
|
||
If Version 1.0 works someone goofed...
|
||
If we left the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy!
|
||
If wishes were horses, beggars would be shoveling manure.
|
||
If ya can't say anything nice, sit by me.
|
||
If you ain't making waves, you ain't kicking hard enough.
|
||
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
|
||
If you call me insane again, I'll eat your other eye too.
|
||
If you can count your money, then you don't have enough
|
||
If you can't fix it call it a feature.
|
||
If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll laugh at you......
|
||
If you can't make fun of your friends ... what good are they?
|
||
If you can't make fun of yourself, give me a call!
|
||
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
|
||
If you don't bet, you can't win. - Heinlein
|
||
If you don't care where you are, then you can't get lost.
|
||
If you don't like how I drive, get off the sidewalk!
|
||
If you don't like my facts, make up your own.
|
||
If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!
|
||
If you don't like the Graffiti here, don't order Italian!
|
||
If You Don't Think Women Are Explosive... Drop One.
|
||
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
|
||
If you find this message offensive then you get my drift
|
||
If you hit every time, the target's too near.
|
||
If you leave the room, you're elected.
|
||
If you want it done right, forget Microsoft.
|
||
If you were an Armadillo, you'd worship trees, too!
|
||
If you're happy and you know it clank your chains
|
||
If you're on the cutting edge, expect to bleed.
|
||
If you're trying to drive me crazy, you're too late.
|
||
Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines.
|
||
Ignorance won't kill you, but it makes you sweat a lot.
|
||
ILLITERATE? Write for a free brochure...
|
||
Immortality is no excuse for not flossing.
|
||
Improve your IQ...eat gifted children!
|
||
In a nuclear war, all men will be cremated equal
|
||
In a sense, we have always lived in Ahnk-Morpork.
|
||
In a solemn ceremony, they giggle viciously.
|
||
In a vegetable garden, flowers are weeds.
|
||
In Arkansas, if you get a divorce, technically you're STILL cousins.
|
||
In CyberSpace everybody can hear you scream.
|
||
In Cyberspace, no one wears a watch.
|
||
In DOS we trust, all others please crash.
|
||
In extreme circumstances, cautionary measures are always justified.
|
||
In handling a stinging insect, movevery slowly. - Heinlein
|
||
In life.....pain is mandatory....misery is optional
|
||
In space...no one can hear you "Cha! Cha! Cha!"
|
||
In the beginning there was the Precambrian epoch.
|
||
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed men are kings.
|
||
In the end, everything is the same as it ever was.
|
||
Incorrigible punster - do not incorrige.
|
||
Inductive logic is much more difficult--but can produce new truths.- RAH
|
||
Infuriate the media: think for yourself.
|
||
Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fool... - King Lear
|
||
Injustice anywhere threatens justice everywhere.
|
||
Inquiring minds wanna know. Intelligent minds don't care.
|
||
Insanity is fun if you do it right.
|
||
Insects really bug me.
|
||
Insert disk 5 of 4 and press any key to continue
|
||
Insert New Disk for Drive C: Press ENTER when ready.
|
||
Insert prong A into hole B and twist HARD!
|
||
Insert your favorite rude obnoxious offensive phrase here
|
||
Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
|
||
Install failed: Attempting to transfer virus to c:
|
||
Installation recommended (not included)
|
||
Instead here we are in a silence more eloquent...
|
||
Intelligence is the right arm of modern warfare.
|
||
Is it Progress when the cannibals use a fork?
|
||
Is nothing sacred? Great! When are worship services?
|
||
Is there supposed to be a lot of water down here?
|
||
Isn't that our pilot over there, kissing the ground?
|
||
It appears to make a driver mad if he misses you.
|
||
It doesn't work, but it looks pretty.
|
||
It is better to copualte than never. - Heinlein
|
||
It is better to light a flamethrower than curse the dark.
|
||
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also well armed.
|
||
It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
|
||
It is when I struggled to be brief that I became obscure
|
||
It isn't really mine 'til I've modified it
|
||
It made a sound like someone was field-cleaning a badger.
|
||
It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
|
||
It takes a Real Man to sit indoors all day doing this.
|
||
It was supposed to be so easy.
|
||
It works better if you plug it in.
|
||
It works fine except when it's activated.
|
||
It's a chain saw. I always carry one for emergencies.
|
||
It's a dead man's party...Who could ask for more?
|
||
It's a great day for putting slinkies on an escalator.
|
||
It's a great place, and the drinks are cold!
|
||
It's a Satanic drug thing - You WOULDN'T understand...
|
||
It's all fun and games until the hard drive dies.
|
||
It's all psychobabble rap to me.
|
||
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired. - RAH
|
||
It's cold outside...there's no kind of atmosphere...
|
||
It's easy to make Windows faster. Just throw it harder.
|
||
It's great to do nothing and rest afterwards.
|
||
It's hard to RTFM when you can't find the FM..
|
||
It's hard to work in groups when you're omnipotent.
|
||
It's not 0 to 60 that counts... it's 85 to 55 that matters!
|
||
It's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
|
||
It's NOT kill the women and rape the men, it's...
|
||
It's not so much the bat, but the Cyborg swinging it....
|
||
It's not that life is so short, it's that you're dead for so
|
||
It's not the money I want, it's the stuff.
|
||
It's not the principle, it's the money.
|
||
It's not your imagination... we ARE against you.
|
||
It's nothing a warm-boot can't fix, I think
|
||
It's on that one, the 6th unlabeled floppy.
|
||
It's only my opinion, but it's better than yours.
|
||
It's so hard to find good vacuum tubes for my PC anymore.
|
||
It's working now; I don't want to break it by fixing it
|
||
JaLaPe Brand Ration's - Raw Meat that's great to eat!
|
||
Japan says your illiterate.
|
||
Jesus Saves --at First National Bank
|
||
Jimmy Hoffa, call your office.
|
||
Joe's crematorium u kill'em we grill'em!
|
||
John Wayne's World: Party time, Pilgrim. -SLR
|
||
Join army: travel, meet interesting people & kill them!
|
||
Just 'cause it won't work; You think it's buggy.
|
||
Just a lowly conference participant; not a moderator.
|
||
Just another prisoner of gravity!!
|
||
Just climb in, and hang on. Open your eyes, if you dare...
|
||
Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here.
|
||
Just say NO to negativism.
|
||
Just sliding down the razor blade of life . . .
|
||
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the bitstream.
|
||
Kant's Categorical Imperative is too long for a tagline.
|
||
Keep honking...I'm reloading
|
||
Keep thy Tail Bushy and thine Eyes Bright,
|
||
Keep you're opinion to yourself. Spread mine around.
|
||
Keep your city clean...eat a pigeon.
|
||
Keyboard: A device for entering misteaks in a computer<65>
|
||
Kill or starve.
|
||
Kill the extremists.
|
||
KILL the s.o.b. - THEN count to 10.
|
||
Kill What You Can't Understand.
|
||
Killing time takes practice.
|
||
Klingon DOS 6.0- DEL.COM; ERASE.COM; WIPE.COM; TRASH.EXE; BURN.BAT;
|
||
Knights errant spend their nights erring.
|
||
Knowledge itself is power. -- Francis Bacon
|
||
Knowledge rests not on truth alone, but upon error also.
|
||
Knowledge without common sense is folly.
|
||
LABEL NOT FOUND: go anywhere you like.
|
||
Lack of planning does not constitute an emergency.
|
||
Land of the Free, Home of the Unemployed.
|
||
Last one out of the coffin is a rotten corpse.
|
||
Lawyer: one who calls a 137-page document a brief.
|
||
Lawyer: the larval form of politician.
|
||
Lawyers should advertise on Emergency room ceilings.
|
||
Lawyers: the larval form of politicians.
|
||
Lay down all thought, surrender to the void...
|
||
Lead me not into temptation - unless there's money involved. -SLR
|
||
Lead us not into temptation; we can find it ourselves.
|
||
Lead, Follow, or get the H*ll out of the way...
|
||
Left blank to annoy the moderator.
|
||
Lern two spel. Kull mee att wurc four fre hellp.
|
||
Let him who understands reckon the number of the Beast.
|
||
Let the meek inherit the earth, I want stars.
|
||
Let's get some beer and dynamite and go fishing.
|
||
Let's take a chance on living; before we die!
|
||
Let's you and him fight.
|
||
Liberal (n): Anyone who disagrees with you.
|
||
Liberal censorship is hogwash. I see no evide ... NO CA
|
||
Liberals! Looks like we'll have to blast our way out!
|
||
Life and Liberty are safe...when congress is in recess.
|
||
Life being what it is, I dream of revenge
|
||
Life is a game, and money is how you keep score...
|
||
Life is an interruption in entropy.
|
||
Life is complex: It consists of real and imaginary parts
|
||
Life is like toilet paper; we panic as the end approaches.
|
||
Life sucks and then you marry one who won't.
|
||
Life's a b*tch...then you are reincarnated.
|
||
Life. It's not just a bowl of cereal anymore.
|
||
Life: what happens while you're making other plans.
|
||
Limit Congressmen to 2 terms - 1 in Congress, 1 in Jail!
|
||
Line Noise Brought to You By an I.R.S. Phone Tap
|
||
Listen to sermon, THEN eat missionary!
|
||
Listen you malfunctioning mess of microchips......
|
||
Little did he know, but I was a master of the pugil...
|
||
Live by the sword, die by the longbow.
|
||
Living: The best demonstration of victory over mortality.
|
||
Logic is a way of going wrong with confidence.
|
||
Logic is logic. That's all I say." Holmes
|
||
Logic: 1+1= 11, 2+2= 22, 3+3=6
|
||
Loitering with intent to hesitate.
|
||
Long live conference hosts ... so they can suffer longer.
|
||
Longer life through superior firepower.
|
||
Longer than lumber and broader than a bench.
|
||
Look unimportant - The enemy may be low on ammo
|
||
Looks like I picked a bad year to stop sniffing glue.
|
||
Lots of cute, furry animals killed to make this tagline.
|
||
LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer
|
||
Love is deaf as well as blind... and walks with a limp. -SLR
|
||
Love is grand... Divorce is twenty grand...
|
||
Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.
|
||
Love your country, but fear the government.
|
||
Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
|
||
LSD melts in your mind not in your hands.
|
||
LSD melts your mind, not in your hand.
|
||
LSD: Virtual Reality without the expensive hardware!
|
||
Lucas refrigerators: Why the British drink warm beer.
|
||
Lunatic asylum: where optimism most flourishes.
|
||
Mac screen message: "Like, dude, something went wrong."
|
||
Macintosh - Computer /w training wheels you can't remove.
|
||
MACs = Snobby-Expensive-User-Friendly computers
|
||
Mad at your neighbor? Buy his kid a drum!
|
||
Madness takes it's toll; please have exact change.
|
||
Mafia DOS: "Thisa you lasta chance [Y/N]?"
|
||
Magicians are a vanishing species.
|
||
Mail not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic (B)lame sysop.
|
||
Make a bold fashion statement: Get Naked.
|
||
Make friends with SysOps: Page them at 3am.
|
||
Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler.
|
||
Make my day, kill a GUI today.
|
||
Make my sushi medium rare
|
||
Malice:merely stupidity raised to a higher power.
|
||
Man is a god in ruins. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
||
Man looks into the abyss, and sees himself.
|
||
Man made Booze. God made Grass. Who do you trust?
|
||
Man of Steel hates industrial electromagnets.
|
||
Man often abolishes God; fortunately God is more tolerant
|
||
Man with forked tongue has no need for chopsticks.
|
||
Man,the missing link between apes and human beings
|
||
Mandatory tagline affixed in accordance with rule 3, sec A, par 2.
|
||
Manuals come out, after all possible keystrokes fail.
|
||
Marriage enders: You propose, we dispose.
|
||
Marriage is a rocky road when the attendents get stoned.
|
||
Marriage is not a word but a sentence.
|
||
Marriage is ok, but I wouldn't recommend it for singles
|
||
Marriage? No thanks, I don't breed well in captivity.
|
||
Married alive -- a fate worse than death.
|
||
Mars Needs Bovines
|
||
Mary had a little lamb, some white wine, and a salad.
|
||
Mason-Dixon: Line that separates y'all from youse-
|
||
Math illiteracy affects eight out of every five people.
|
||
Math Problems? Call 1-800-10x(24+13)-(64-16)/2 36x2.
|
||
MAXIMUM UNPLEASANT STIMULI!!!
|
||
Me opinionated? . . . Not on your life pig!
|
||
Me use the manual? Do I look like a sissy to you?
|
||
Me, indecisive? I don't think I am, do you?
|
||
Me...a skeptic? I trust you have proof.
|
||
Medical definition: Dilate. To live too long
|
||
MEDICAL STAFF: A doctor's cane.
|
||
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss...
|
||
Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Kenders.
|
||
Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves!
|
||
Memory parity interrupt at 367A:64DF Self-Destruct 5 sec.
|
||
Men who believe absurdities will commit atrocities -Voltaire
|
||
Mental compatability not covered by warranty.
|
||
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
|
||
Mere life is not victory, mere death is not defeat.
|
||
Message sent. Destroy immediately upon receipt.
|
||
Messiah Complex? Me? Well, let me just sayeth unto you......
|
||
Mickey Mouse wears an Al Gore wristwatch.
|
||
Microbiology Lab: STAPH ONLY!
|
||
Microsoft Slogan..."McDoublespace..... Over 30 Billion crashed..."
|
||
Microsoft Windows - proof that P.T. Barnum was correct.
|
||
Microsoft: Making it easier... to switch to OS/2!
|
||
Microsoft: Making it all. Make sense?
|
||
MilliHelen: Amount of Beauty Needed to Launch One Ship
|
||
Millions of sperm and _that_ one got through. Sigh.
|
||
Milton's 1st Law: Anything can be used as a hammer.
|
||
Mind if I clean my fly swatter over your soup?
|
||
Mmm mmm good; Cream of Spotted Owl Soup, yum
|
||
Mmmmmm! A problem with grammar have I, yes! -- Yoda
|
||
MODEM - M_onumentally O_verpriced D_ata E_ating M_achine
|
||
Modem: A great deterrent to phone solicitors
|
||
Moderator (n): see also god, dictator, egotist, oppressor
|
||
Modesty Becomes You. Try It More Often.
|
||
Monday is an awful way to spend one seventh of your life.
|
||
Mondays are a rotten way to spend 1/7th of your life.
|
||
Money can't buy happiness, but it does quiet the nerves.
|
||
Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.- RAH
|
||
Monogamous and monotonous are synonymous.
|
||
Monolith Moscow Cemetery: "My God, it's full of czars!"
|
||
Monotheism: a gift from the gods
|
||
Morale improved, but now I ENJOY floggings!
|
||
Morbid: Burying the body, and then visiting weekly.
|
||
More fun than @TO@ should be allowed.
|
||
More than just a book--it's a major piece of torture.
|
||
Morgue, you stab'em, we slab'em!
|
||
Mosquito: Designed by God to make flies seem better.
|
||
Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button sorters. - Heinlein
|
||
Most allies must be watched just like the enemy.
|
||
Most have good aims in life, but few pull the trigger.
|
||
Most people make sense, I'm not one of them.
|
||
Most political jokes get elected
|
||
Multitasking - Twice the mistakes in half the time.
|
||
Multitasking = screwing up several things at once.
|
||
Murphy didn't come close to real trouble.
|
||
Murphy's rule of combat: Incoming fire has right of way.
|
||
Murphy's: All constants are variables!
|
||
MUST...DESTROY...MANKIND.......oops! Time for lunch!
|
||
My best feature? I would say my overwhelming humility...
|
||
My boss says I'm going to be famous, he says I'm history.
|
||
My computer NEVER loc
|
||
My demand curves are *always* upward sloping....
|
||
My dog loves cats! He'll eat as many as he can catch!
|
||
My ego's bigger than your ego...<sneer>...
|
||
My girlfriend said I never listen to her, or something.
|
||
My guru told me there'd be lifetimes like this.
|
||
My horse is the one that just broke its leg and fell on the jockey.
|
||
My infinity is bigger than yours.
|
||
My last original thought died of loneliness.
|
||
My life is in your hands... What do you mean, "oops"?
|
||
My mind is a scary place, I try not to go there alone.
|
||
My mind isn't always in the gutter - sometimes it comes out to feed.
|
||
My Mind's like a steel trap: Rusty and Unhinged.
|
||
My mistakes are purely erroneous.
|
||
My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else
|
||
My opinions are my own; mistakes are the computer's fault
|
||
My opinions are not those of my employer
|
||
My other computer is a TRS-80 Model 4.
|
||
My other sentient killing machine is a BOLO
|
||
My other tagline's a Rolex...
|
||
My psychiatrist told me "Maybe life isn't for everyone"
|
||
My reality check just bounced.
|
||
My ship came in but unfortunatly it was the flying dutchmen.
|
||
My system will resolve an infinite loop in 3 millisec.
|
||
My V32bs fx/mdm wrks jst fne wthot a 1550 bffrd URT
|
||
My Wife wishes I drank or chased women like other men!
|
||
My wife's other car is a broomstick.
|
||
Name: John Doe Phone:222-2222 Sex:Not lately
|
||
Natural laws have no pity. - Heinlein
|
||
Natural Selection works ... if you let it.
|
||
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
|
||
Necrophilia means never having to say... well, anything...
|
||
Neurotoxin Lite! Tastes great. Less drooling.
|
||
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
|
||
Never argue with a skunk, mule, woman, or SysOp...
|
||
Never assume conspiracy when stupidity will explain it.
|
||
Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
|
||
Never attribute to malice that which may be explained by stupidity.
|
||
Never board a plane whose flight number is 5050!
|
||
Never buy wine from a guy with purple feet.
|
||
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
|
||
Never eat a hedgehog without peeling it first.
|
||
Never enough time, unless you're serving it.
|
||
Never fight ugly people, 'cause they have nothing to lose
|
||
Never frighten a little man, he'll kill you. - Heinlein
|
||
Never give a gun to ducks.
|
||
Never go to a cyberpunk play when the review says "Riotous."
|
||
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
|
||
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight instead.
|
||
Never hit a man when he's down - always kick him.
|
||
Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist.
|
||
Never judge a man by his taglines.
|
||
Never laugh at live dragons.
|
||
Never lean forward to push an invisible object.
|
||
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
|
||
Never let a machine know you're in a hurry.
|
||
Never let an inanimate object defeat you.
|
||
Never let your dragon overeat!
|
||
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
|
||
Never mind the oxygen. This man's a donor.
|
||
Never mind the star - get those camels off the lawn!
|
||
Never mistake endurance for hospitality.
|
||
Never pet a burning dog.
|
||
Never play Global War with someone named after a state.
|
||
Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.
|
||
Never send a monster to do the work of an evil scientist.
|
||
Never show up at a gun fight with a knife
|
||
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
|
||
Never take a beer to a job interview.
|
||
Never tell them what you wouldn't want to do.
|
||
Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.
|
||
Never trust a computer that smiles at you...
|
||
Never underestimate a barbarian knucklewalker.
|
||
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. - Heinlein
|
||
Never, ever, ever attempt to learn thermodynamics.
|
||
Never, ever, pinch a sorceress on the butt. <ribbit>
|
||
New Lurker Conference! Join in and disappear...
|
||
new oxymoron: final beta
|
||
Next time I send a damn fool, I'll go myself...Geez!
|
||
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
|
||
No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck
|
||
No bathroom? Just go boldly where no one has gone before.
|
||
No battle plan survives contact with the enemy
|
||
No Brain, No Pain.
|
||
NO CARRIER...but I've got 2 destroyers and a frigate
|
||
No cute, furry animals killed to make this tagline.
|
||
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
|
||
No good deed goes unpunished - Mark Twain.
|
||
No man is free who is not master of himself.
|
||
No matter where you go, there you are....
|
||
NO MESSAGES FOUND. [H]it modem. [S]cream at fido gods. [Y]ell profanity
|
||
No One Is Ugly After 2:00 AM
|
||
No real reason for it; it just happens to be my policy.
|
||
No reason for it; it's just my policy.
|
||
No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
|
||
No trouble parking, I drive a forklift...
|
||
No uninteresting subjects, just uninterested people.
|
||
No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.<2E>
|
||
No, bartender, I said I vanted a BLOOD lite!
|
||
No, I never read the documentation.
|
||
No, I'm not an elitist. Why do you ask, peasant?
|
||
No, no, not "born again." I said, I was into PORN again.
|
||
No, really. Where did you get the zombie slime?
|
||
Noble deeds that are concealed are most esteemed.
|
||
Nobody ever bet too much on a winning horse.
|
||
None are so blind as those who will not see.
|
||
North East Breakfast: A cuppa coffee and a cigarette.
|
||
Not a computer nerd; merely a techno-weenie.
|
||
not after devouring so many maidens of the valley.
|
||
Not all men are fools, some are bachelors.
|
||
Not broke, merely under-funded.
|
||
Not now ... I have to go mow the laundry.
|
||
Not-so-famous Fraternities: I Phelta Thi, Tappa Kegga Bru
|
||
Nothing can go wrong(clik)go wrong(clik)go wro..
|
||
Nothing is 100% certain, bug-free, or IBM compatible
|
||
Nothing is final. Except me, of course. <Death, "Sourcery">
|
||
Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up.
|
||
Nothing like a bribe to get things rolling.
|
||
Nothing wrong w/ this program a strong magnet can't cure.
|
||
Nothing's foolproof. Idiots are too ingenious.
|
||
Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it.
|
||
Nothing: Often a good thing to do & a clever thing to say
|
||
Now abusing OS/2 2.1
|
||
Now and then an innocent man becomes a senator.
|
||
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the Legislature
|
||
Now in new great-tasting Grape and Watermelon flavor.
|
||
Now where did I put that fire extinguisher?
|
||
NT - "The carrot in front of the donkey" - J Dvorak
|
||
Nuke 'em til they glow... shoot 'em in the dark!
|
||
Number of phone rings = number of steps from commode -1
|
||
O Lord, protect me from those to whom You speak directly!...
|
||
Objection, your Honour! My client is an idiot!
|
||
Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one.
|
||
Of all the things I've lost...I miss my mind the most.
|
||
Of course I can cook, but I never do it on the 1st date!
|
||
Of course I turned, I hit you didn't I?
|
||
Of course I'll pay for that one. Check okay?
|
||
Of course it's safe. Go on in, I'll be right behind you.
|
||
Of course it's safe. Go in, I'll be right behind you.
|
||
Of course, coffee *is* one of the major vitamins
|
||
Often it's fatal to live too long
|
||
Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me ...
|
||
Oh what a Grand Universe we live in....
|
||
Oh, excuse me, were those your panties?
|
||
Oh, I'm sorry, were the voices in my head bothering you?
|
||
Oh, it's on page 732 of the docs, paragraph 3, section D1
|
||
Oh, pardon me, was that *your* culture? So sorry.
|
||
Ok Space Cadets! Prepare to hurtle through the cosmos!
|
||
OK, I pulled the pin. Now what? Hey, where're you going?
|
||
OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric.
|
||
OK, I've pulled the pin. Now what ? Where are you going ?
|
||
OK-give me ONE good reason why I can't have it both ways.
|
||
Old enough to know better, young enough not to care!
|
||
Old is when your back goes out more often than you do.
|
||
Old soldiers never die...young ones do.
|
||
On a clear disk you can seek forever
|
||
On Fidonet, nobody knows you're naked.
|
||
On one condition -- that it leads to extreme violence!
|
||
On the day of the dead, when the year too dies...
|
||
Once again, truth and American technology defeat Bill.
|
||
Once again, truth and American technology defeat Satan.
|
||
Once in a while, I screw up and do something right.
|
||
Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer a friend.
|
||
One atom bomb can ruin your whole day
|
||
One golden glance of what should be
|
||
One good turn is usually enough to get a person lost.
|
||
One man's Windows are another man's walls.
|
||
One more day like today and I'll kill you too.
|
||
One murder makes a villian, millions a hero -B Porteus
|
||
One nation under God; with liberty, fries & a Coke to go.
|
||
One ring to rule them all...
|
||
One sword at least thy rights shall guard,
|
||
One thing about pain: it proves you're alive.
|
||
Online? Good, hit Alt-H for FREE Unlimited Access !
|
||
Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip...
|
||
Only a lawyer calls a 10,000 word document a "brief".
|
||
Only a liberal could coin a word such as "undertaxed."
|
||
Only lemmings jump to unknown conclusions.
|
||
Only the educated are free: Some Greek guy.
|
||
Oops, gotta go feed the dragon.
|
||
Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally
|
||
Operating at a higher level - OS/2 v2.1
|
||
Operator error (E)xecute (T)rain (S)end Home
|
||
Operator! Trace this call and tell me where I am.
|
||
OPINIONS? I have lots. Which one would you like?
|
||
Optimism is profoundly depressing.
|
||
Or time will grind you down to dust again...
|
||
Originality is the art of concealing your sources
|
||
OS/2 - because 32 bits are terrible things to waste.
|
||
OS/2 - The only true 100% FAT free operating system.
|
||
OS/2 fixes broken windows
|
||
OS/2! Anything else is just DOS.
|
||
OS/2: Windows with bullet-proof glass.
|
||
OS/2: Your brain. Windows: Your brain on drugs.
|
||
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?
|
||
Our swords shall play the orators for us.
|
||
Our world is like a cactus except the pricks are inside.
|
||
Page your sysop at 3am for Free Prizes!
|
||
Pain -- Finally something we can depend on.
|
||
Paint it Octarine: the color of magic.
|
||
Paranoia is just a heightened sense of awareness.
|
||
Pardon me if not every "i" is crossed and "t" dotted...
|
||
Pardon my driving; I'm trying to reload.
|
||
Pardon my existence and I might pardon yours.
|
||
Path = 'down there a ways and to the left'
|
||
Patience and time do more than strength or passion.
|
||
Patience is a virtue possessed by few men and no women<65>
|
||
Patience-A Virtue That Carries A Lot Of Wait
|
||
PATROL CAR BUMPERSTICKER: Attitudes adjusted, while you wait.
|
||
Paul Harvey fans always have a good day
|
||
Paused: enter any 12-digit prime number to continue
|
||
PCBackup: 1 of 1362 disks.
|
||
PCs rule 1001111 1001011
|
||
Pedestrian: Someone who found a place to park.
|
||
Pedestrian: The most approachable chap in the world.
|
||
People say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.
|
||
People say I'm indecisive. Am I? I don't know.
|
||
Perhaps I should take up golf instead?
|
||
Personal beliefs become trivial when reality intrudes...
|
||
Personals:"Mormon seeks wife, must get along with others"
|
||
Philosophy is for people who can't form their own opinions. -SLR
|
||
Phoneco.sys corrupted-recommend competitive market.
|
||
Pick two: 1)Fast 2)Right 3)Cheap 4)Windows (counts as 2)
|
||
Pioneers are the ones with the arrows in their backs.
|
||
PKunZIP V56.7 FAST! Exploding Universe->>CRC-@ error
|
||
Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.- RAH
|
||
Plasma is another matter
|
||
Played poker w/tarot cards. Got a flush & 5 people died!
|
||
Please excuse me. I'm one of the fatigue impaired.
|
||
Please stand by, depressurization begins in 15 seconds.
|
||
Plunk your magic twanger Froggy...
|
||
Polite Virus: Sorry to interrupt, but I need to format...
|
||
Political Correctness: marketing term for mind contral.
|
||
Politicians aren't born, they are excreted. (Cicero)
|
||
Politics: Passing the buck or passing the doe.
|
||
Politics:Root(s):[a]Poly-Many [b]Tics-Bloodsuckers
|
||
Pornography: n. Things we enjoy but don't want anyone to know about.
|
||
Posted by a twisted mind behind a machine.
|
||
Power corrupts, but OS/2 is kinda neat.
|
||
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat, though.
|
||
Power doesn't corrupt people, people corrupt power.
|
||
Power is an illusion; only stupidity is real.
|
||
Practice mirth control - used a conumdrum.
|
||
Practice mirth control..... always use a conundrum
|
||
Practice safe snuggle. Make her wear socks to bed!
|
||
Pray for Bill Clinton (see Psalm 109:8)
|
||
Precinct toilet stolen... Police have nothing to go on.
|
||
Predestination was doomed from the start.
|
||
Preserve wildlife...pickle a squirrel today.
|
||
President Clinton --- The Eddie Haskel of politics.
|
||
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...
|
||
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to store all new data:
|
||
Press alt-H to continue, then Y if applicable.
|
||
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
|
||
Press SPACEBAR once to quit or twice to save changes
|
||
Press to test. <click> Release to detonate...
|
||
Press [ESC] to detonate or any other key to explode
|
||
Prevent Messes-Cover Hamster before Microwaving
|
||
Problems? No, I LIKE my foot there.
|
||
Profanity, the language computerists know.
|
||
Professor: a textbook wired for sound.
|
||
Programmer (n): One who makes salesman's lies come true.
|
||
Programming Dept.: Mistakes made while you wait.
|
||
Prosecutors will be violated.
|
||
Provider of fine voodoo productions..... <20>
|
||
Prune Juice . . . The drink of warriors!
|
||
Pscyhos R Us
|
||
Psychiatry: The study of the ID by the ODD.
|
||
Psychic Convention cancelled due to unforeseen problems
|
||
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
|
||
Psychoses are red, Melancholia's blue, I'm Schizo...you?
|
||
Pull once to eject... twice to abort ejection.
|
||
Pull trigger repeatedly until problem dissapears
|
||
Puns are bad, but poetry is verse.
|
||
Put Lawyers on the ETHICS COMMITTEE, for BALANCE
|
||
Put the straightjacket over his mouth. Trust me.
|
||
QEMM Exception #13: [L]ockup, [L]ockup, or [L]ockup?
|
||
QUICK! Hand me the cat; the cherry bomb's lit!
|
||
Quick, easy, enlightenment; Just axe for it.
|
||
Quoth the Raven, "Eat My Shorts."
|
||
Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.
|
||
Radioactive Halibut will make fission chips
|
||
RADIOACTIVE: if you can read this you're sterile
|
||
Rainy days and automatic weapons get me down.
|
||
Read Books And Repeat Quotations.
|
||
Real programmers innovate, others LITIGATE !
|
||
REAL programmers use "COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE"
|
||
Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym
|
||
Real women don't deflate when you bite them.
|
||
Reality is a constant intrusion on my dreams.
|
||
Reality Is An Illusion Caused By Lack Of Acid
|
||
Reality is an illusion: men are only the dreams of gods.
|
||
Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
|
||
Reality is for those people who have no grasp of fantasy.
|
||
Reality is for those who can't face fantasy.
|
||
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
|
||
Reality: a fantasy gone wrong, dreadfully wrong!!!
|
||
Reality: an illusion produced by an alcohol deficiency.
|
||
Reality:a crutch for those who can't handle drugs.
|
||
Really honey, I NEED 10 megawatts for it.
|
||
Real_men_don't_need_spacebars.
|
||
Red meat is good for you; fuzzy green-blue meat is bad.
|
||
Redneck marriage proposal:.........YER WHUT!!??????
|
||
Relativity all depends on how you look at it.
|
||
Religion keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
|
||
Religious error: (A)tone, (R)epent, (I)mmolate?
|
||
REMEMBER that the only proper way to exit a door is ALT-H
|
||
Remember: Scan all files for viru(+(+(&*^)6075$%^&$
|
||
Remember: USER is a four letter word.
|
||
Reports of my being alive and well are grossly exagerated
|
||
Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.
|
||
Research has found that research causes cancer in mice.
|
||
Retreat h*ll! We're just fighting in another direction!
|
||
Revenge is a dish best served....with tangy Miracle Whip!
|
||
Reward for a job well done: more work
|
||
Right theory, wrong universe
|
||
Right, mate, I'll just throw another Ken on the Barbie!
|
||
Road Kill Cafe - Today's Special: Swirl of Squirrel
|
||
Road Kill Cafe: new meaning for "fresh off the grill."
|
||
Robert A. Heinlein memorial taglein.
|
||
Rosanne Barr: proof that mankind is troubled
|
||
RTFM? - Nah, call the author at home!
|
||
Rumour: NT means Not Tested
|
||
Run for shelter in these golden years
|
||
Sacred cows make better hamburgers. -Graffiti
|
||
Sacred Cows make good hamburgers.
|
||
Safety needle: pointless, isn't it?
|
||
Salvador Dali for Coca Cola: It's surreal thing.
|
||
SAPFU -- Surpassing All Previous Foul Ups.
|
||
Saudi Arabia, A country where the word "DUCK" is a Verb.
|
||
Save a flag - Burn a protester
|
||
Save a tree, eat a beaver!
|
||
Save Georgia's economy...Eat more canned Possum!
|
||
Save time - live several lives at once.
|
||
Save toilet paper. Use the other side.
|
||
Say something nice to everyone today...drive them crazy.
|
||
Scandal is juicy gossip made tedious by morality.
|
||
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
|
||
Science Fiction: So fun it ought to be illegal or fattening or sumfin'`
|
||
Science is truth -- don't be misled by facts.
|
||
Screw the company, those first 20 minutes belong to you.
|
||
Scripts, the thinking man's route to insanity.
|
||
Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning
|
||
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny. - Heinlein
|
||
Secret revealed: Press CONTROL-ALT-DEL for SysOp Access!
|
||
Sects! Sects! Sects! Is that all Monks think about?
|
||
See ya in the chronostream, Time Jockey!
|
||
sEe! I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
|
||
Send $20.00 in small unmarked electrons.
|
||
send moneySUBLIMINALsend moneyTAGLINEsend money
|
||
Send Monopoly money to your favorite TV Evangelist.
|
||
Send more tourists..... the last ones were delicious!
|
||
Seriousness is the very next step to being dull.
|
||
Set. Spike. Dig. I do it in the sand.
|
||
Sex ain't dirty.. it's slippery!
|
||
Shall I scream? Let's scream together. -SLR
|
||
Share and Enjoy. (or - Go stick your head in a pig)
|
||
Sharks don't eat lawyers. Professional Courtesy.
|
||
She said "Have a nice day", but I had other plans.
|
||
She turned me into a newt! ....well, I got better....
|
||
She won't last forever, so why buy her a diamond?
|
||
She's dead, Jim. But hell, she was like that in the sack
|
||
She's the bargain hunter. I just carry the ammunition.
|
||
Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark.
|
||
Shoot Dr. @FIRST@ on sight and dissolve his body in acid.
|
||
Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
|
||
Shoot first; answers aren't that important.
|
||
Shopping tip: Shoes are $.85 at bowling alleys.
|
||
Shouldn't you be doing something productive?
|
||
Show me a sane man. I'll cure him for you.
|
||
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor
|
||
Sign on the mortuary door: Remains to be Seen.
|
||
Sign outside brothel: "On Vacation. Beat it."
|
||
Silence cannot be misquoted.
|
||
Silence? Oh no, it's the Attack Of The Mimes!
|
||
Simon says Stand! Simon says sit! Format your drive! HA! Gotcha!
|
||
Since I've used up my sick leave, I'm calling in dead.
|
||
Sinner: A stupid person who gets found out.
|
||
Sit dux sapienta- Let wisdom be your guide.
|
||
Sky diving, its good to the last drop.
|
||
Slaying foul maidens, rescuing fair dragons.
|
||
SLEDGE-O-MATIC: For life's most difficult problems.
|
||
Sleep: (noun), Short time between BBSing and work.
|
||
Sleep? I'm a Consultant!!
|
||
Slow the aging process: put it through Congress.
|
||
Slugs saut<75>... a hors of a different d'oeuvre.
|
||
SMILE ! (makes people wonder what you're up to)
|
||
Smith & Wesson: The original point-and-click interface.
|
||
Smith & Wesson: The ultimate point & click user interface...
|
||
Snap, Crackle, Pop ....Darn I hope that was a fuse...
|
||
So he says to the Shapeshifter waitress, "Keep the change."
|
||
So I said to my one-legged wife, "Peg..."
|
||
So many books, so little time.
|
||
So many jerks, so few bullets...
|
||
So much time, so little to do (or something like that).
|
||
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
|
||
Software Troubleshooter - @TO@, w/44 Magnum
|
||
Software: What you boot. Hardware: What you kick.
|
||
Solve the problems of the world: Vote anarchist.
|
||
Some days I look my best in a thick fog.
|
||
Some days you're the windshield, some days the bug.
|
||
Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
|
||
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.
|
||
Some settling may have occurred in shipping.
|
||
Some thoughts are best guillotined before actions result.
|
||
Somehow tuna doesn't taste the same without the dolphin.
|
||
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
|
||
Sometimes even fools make good suggestions.
|
||
Sometimes I wake up grouchy. Most times, I let her sleep.
|
||
Sometimes the depths of your ignorance amazes even me.
|
||
Sometimes you just have to say 'What the heck'
|
||
Sometimes you're a bug, sometimes a windshield
|
||
Sometimes you're a Kenworth, sometimes you're a possum.
|
||
Sometimes, I wish I could ARJ my wife...
|
||
Sometimes, the Dragon wins...
|
||
Sooner or later, I'll be free to leave the past behind.
|
||
Sorry Congressman... cash only.
|
||
Sorry, tomorrow is cancelled due to the lack of interest!
|
||
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? [yep/nope]
|
||
Sow dragons teeth, reap trouble.
|
||
Spaced Aliens: Columbian drug lords in US.
|
||
SPAM - Squirrels, Possum, And Mice.
|
||
Speak softly and carry a meat cleaver.
|
||
Speed doesn't kill. Stopping very fast kills.
|
||
Speed is fine ... accuracy is final. -- Wyatt Earp
|
||
Speed kills! Switch to Windows ...
|
||
Speed kills; slow just infuriates...
|
||
Spindle & Mutilate - See if I care..
|
||
Spiritual Truth thru Superior Weapons
|
||
Squeeze Me Hard! I Work Better Under Pressure....
|
||
Squirrels: Rats with good P.R.
|
||
Stand aside: I'm fluent in lunatic.
|
||
Stand under it, but don't let it lick you.
|
||
Start a download. Get a beer. Multitasking.
|
||
Stationary mice have bigger balls.
|
||
Statistics are no substitute for judgment.
|
||
Steven King, eat your heart out.
|
||
Strange fits of passion have I known;
|
||
Studies show that 51% of Americans are in the majority.
|
||
Success is just a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
|
||
Success lies in achieving the top of the food chain
|
||
Sumo wrestling in the canoe of life.
|
||
Support medical examiners--die strangely.
|
||
Support NAFTA, export Clinton and Bore
|
||
Support nuclear families! The mutants are fun to watch!
|
||
Support OS/2: Show NT to your friends!
|
||
Support your constitutional right to arm bears.
|
||
Support your SysOp... Send your paycheck.
|
||
Sure you can trust the government... ask any Indian.
|
||
Sure, I stole them. All of them, and I'm *PROUD* of it! HAHAHAHAHA!
|
||
Sure, it's embarrassing, but it's over quickly.
|
||
Sure, money talks. All mine ever says is goodbye.
|
||
SURF NAKED: sharks hate to peel their food
|
||
Surrender now - before I have to offer you better terms.
|
||
Surrounded? No, we're just in a target rich environment.
|
||
Survival Tip #2: Never moon a werewolf.
|
||
Survival Tip #3: Never invite Cthulhu over for dinner.
|
||
Sushi: Known to the rest of the world as 'Bait'.
|
||
Swamp gas usually doesn't create sonic booms.
|
||
Swim nude. Sharks hate to peel their food.
|
||
Synonym: A word used when you can't spell the first one.
|
||
SysOp ('sih sop) n. - The person laughing at your typing.
|
||
System error. Strike any user to continue...
|
||
SYSTEM ERROR: place sacrifice on keyboard to continue.
|
||
SYSTEM FAILURE: PRESS F13 TO CONTINUE!
|
||
Tabloid: A newspaper with a permanent crime wave.
|
||
Taco Bell is *not* a mexican phone company
|
||
Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.
|
||
Tact is knowing how far you can go too far.
|
||
Tact: Recalling a lady's birthday but forgetting her age.
|
||
Taglines: More interesting than the garbage above.
|
||
Take me not for what I seem, but for what I am.
|
||
Taking up collection to give Barney a one way ticket to hell.
|
||
Talk is cheap... till you hire a lawyer.
|
||
TANSTAAFL - There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.
|
||
Target Shooting - Official Pastime of Nicaraugua
|
||
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed. - RAH
|
||
Teamwork is vital. It gives you someone to blame.
|
||
Tech Support is Just A Busy Signal Away
|
||
Tech Support: Where is it when you need it?
|
||
TECHNICALITY: Someone *ELSES* Constitutional rights..
|
||
Tell me, have you ever woken up and realized you were doomed?
|
||
Temporal distortion located around workplace clock.
|
||
Temporary suspension of disbelief is a wonderful thing.
|
||
Terror is also a form of communication.
|
||
Thank you for not discussing the outside world.
|
||
Thank you for not mooning your checkout girl.
|
||
That IS a gun in my pocket, and I AM glad to see you.
|
||
That parrot wouldn't VROOM if you put 5000 volts to it!
|
||
That rap tune is really the Polyvtsian Dance #2 by Borodin.
|
||
That which can be imagined can also actually be realized.
|
||
That which does not kill me had better run away damn fast!
|
||
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
|
||
That which does not kill us took its ball and went home.
|
||
That Which Doesn't Kill Me Better Run Away Damn Fast!
|
||
That which makes life good, makes death good also...
|
||
That's stronger than a garlic milkshake.
|
||
The above opinions are those of my computer!
|
||
The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.
|
||
The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
|
||
The best blood at times gets into fools and mosquitoes.
|
||
The Big Bang is only the universe rebooting.
|
||
The bigger they are, the harder they punch.
|
||
The Bill of Rights: Void Where Prohibited by Law
|
||
The Church has appropriated God for its own ends! - Machiavelli
|
||
The dead don't come back to life? Be here at quitting time.
|
||
The Department of Agriculture is full of Dirtbags.
|
||
The Devil is most devilish when respectable.
|
||
THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT ? NOW OPEN THE CELL DOOR.
|
||
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier
|
||
The Few, The Proud, The Most Frequently Shot At...
|
||
The fient a tail she had to shake!
|
||
The first ten million years were the worst.
|
||
The floggings will continue until morale improves.
|
||
The four food groups.. coffee, ice cream, beer and pizza!
|
||
The gene pool has no lifeguard
|
||
The gene pool needs a lifeguard.
|
||
The Gods of one culture become the devils of the next...
|
||
The greatest production force is human selfishness. - Heinlein
|
||
The height of cleverness is to be able to conceal it.
|
||
The hippopotamus rests on his belly in the mud. And you?
|
||
The ideal wife is the woman who has an ideal husband.
|
||
The illuminati aren't out to get you. What was your name again?
|
||
The last sound that it made was "Zap."
|
||
The light at the end of the tunnel is a buglight
|
||
The living world is a continuum in each and every aspect.
|
||
The Magical Mythstery Tour
|
||
The moat is off-limits to swimming, except to IRS agents
|
||
The more I get to thinking, the less I tend to laugh.
|
||
The more I hear about Microsoft, the less I like them.
|
||
The most interesting results happen only once.
|
||
The Novel: Your imagination intensified.
|
||
The only GOOD user is a DEAD user
|
||
The only paradise is paradise lost. -Marcel Proust
|
||
The only winner of the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
|
||
The ox is slow, but the Earth is patient.
|
||
The pen is mightier than the sword, but swords are more fun!
|
||
The Peregrine Plot Thickens...Alas, we are undone...
|
||
The polls show 8 out of 5 schizophrenics agree!
|
||
The prince hides his face from the dreams in the mist.
|
||
The problem drinker is the one who never buys.
|
||
The refrigerator light DOES go out. Now let me out of here.
|
||
The Results of your IQ test came back. They're negative.
|
||
The Ringworld is Unstable!
|
||
The road to hell is paved with legislation.
|
||
The road to success is always under construction.
|
||
The Roman Empire never died it became the Catholic Church
|
||
The Second Amendment -- my concealed-weapons "permit"
|
||
The secrecy of my job prevents me from knowing what I do.
|
||
The secret of DoubleSpace: Randomly loses half your data
|
||
The Strange are strange but to men, but familiar to God.
|
||
The sun comes up too early for my liking!
|
||
The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time
|
||
The tenants are then chopped up by the rotating knifes...
|
||
The thrill of the chase is worth the pain.
|
||
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
|
||
The trouble with political jokes is they get elected.
|
||
The truth is rarely pure, and never simple. (Wilde)
|
||
The truth is the safest lie.
|
||
The truth, however, is not pertinent to the issue.
|
||
The universe by time's fell hand defaced.
|
||
The universe is laughing behind your back.
|
||
The universe is very BIG. Believe me.
|
||
The way to a man's heart is with a broadsword.
|
||
The way to a man's heart: between the ribs, and slightly up.
|
||
The way to a woman's heart is through her ribs.
|
||
The weather's here, wish you were beautiful...
|
||
The weed of crime bears bitter fruit but I like the taste
|
||
The wise learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
|
||
The word today is "legs".....Help spread the word!
|
||
The words are there, my dear, but the music is wanting.
|
||
The world ended yesterday; sorry, you missed it.
|
||
The world ends at 8 P. M.... Film at 11.
|
||
The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
|
||
The worst thing about censorship is ##########.
|
||
The X Insurance Co.---How may we shaft you?
|
||
There are only 3 lawyer jokes; the rest are true
|
||
There Are Three Sides To Every Story.
|
||
There are two secrets in life: Never tell everything at once.
|
||
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
|
||
There is infinite hope...... But not for us....
|
||
There is no fool like an old fool. J.Heywood (1497-1580)
|
||
There is no intelligence on Earth, I'm just visiting.
|
||
There is no Pattern but that we impose on chaos.
|
||
There is no problem that cannot be solved by high explosives.
|
||
There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
|
||
There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
|
||
There is no wealth but life. -- John Ruskin
|
||
There may be millions of votes, but I'm Gulliver.
|
||
There's a light, over at the Frankenstein place.
|
||
There's always one more bug.
|
||
There's not enough Sax and Violin's on TV
|
||
There's nothing a concentrated phaser blast can't solve.
|
||
They called him tall in the saddle till his blister broke
|
||
They got the library at Alexandria. They're not getting mine.
|
||
They say act your age, and when you do they get mad.
|
||
They say God made All Men. I say Samuel Colt made all men Equal.
|
||
Things are never so bad that they can't get worse.
|
||
Things in this room do not react well to bullets.
|
||
Things that appear simple, usually aren't.
|
||
Things you never hear people say: Please saw my leg off.
|
||
Think of it as evolution in action.
|
||
This blade here is my best friend....
|
||
This is another fine myth you've gotten me into.
|
||
This is beginning to get on my nerves, now that I have some.
|
||
This is Discussion; Arguments & Abuse is down the hall.
|
||
This message is SHAREWARE! To Register, send $25.
|
||
This message will disappear in five seconds
|
||
This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds...
|
||
This message written with recycled electrons.
|
||
This MSG created by pouring warm tea on a Ouiji board.
|
||
This offer void except where prohibited by law.
|
||
This Space still for rent. Unreasonable rates
|
||
This tag is invisible to anyone with a higher IQ than me.
|
||
This tagline is a virus. Kis C:\*.* goodbye.
|
||
This tagline is NAGWARE! To remove it send $15.00.
|
||
This talgine meats all U.S. Guvermnint standerds.
|
||
This time he really is dead Jim, he he he.
|
||
Thomas Jefferson was a friend of mine... * @TO@
|
||
Those that have the firepower make the rules.
|
||
Those truly alive wrestle truly with their own souls.
|
||
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
|
||
Those who live by the sword KILL those who don't.
|
||
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's tagline.
|
||
Thou shalt not post messages while drunk.
|
||
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
|
||
Tighten 'til it cracks, then back off 1/2 turn.
|
||
Time and distance are out of place here.
|
||
Time for the penguin on your telly to explode .....
|
||
Time keeps everything from happening all at once.
|
||
Time machine, my foot. Why, it couldn't tell you the time, much less..
|
||
To be, or not to be. What does it really matter...
|
||
To boldly go where no man has any business.
|
||
To discover one knows nothing is the beginning of wisdom.
|
||
To eat or not to eat, the question is whom to eat!
|
||
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
|
||
To err is human, to forgive........$5.00
|
||
To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
|
||
To get back on your feet, miss 2 car payments.
|
||
To live now, first come to terms with your past.
|
||
To quote the Librarian at Unseen University, "Oook!"
|
||
To really live, you must almost die.
|
||
To remove virus, type Format C: at the prompt and...
|
||
To scan, or not to scan. There may be a vir^@#@&_*^|>
|
||
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
|
||
To take the Genesis online IQ test: press Alt/H
|
||
To tolerate everything is to teach nothing.
|
||
Today is the first day of the mess of your life.
|
||
Too bad about your Rectocranial Inversion. Get well soon
|
||
Took an hour to bury the cat. The silly thing kept movin'
|
||
Torture: The Ultimate Art Form.
|
||
Total is $1000. $10 for the upgrade, and $990 s/h.
|
||
Tradition: The art of making the same mistake over and over.
|
||
Transplated musical instrument explodes. Organ rejection suspected.
|
||
Tree falls in forest. Hits Milli Vanilli. Someone else screams.
|
||
Trespassers will be SHOT, survivors will be SHOT again.
|
||
Trilogy (n). Series of three books, sometimes more.
|
||
Truck Pulls: for people who don't understand WWF.
|
||
Trust everyone, but always cut the cards.
|
||
Trust me, Ignore the rash.
|
||
Truth is shorter than fiction. -Irving Cohen
|
||
Try filling a light bulb with gasoline and putting it in a socket.
|
||
TV Truth #5: Drinking beer attracts beautiful females.
|
||
Twisted mind? No, just bent in several strategic places
|
||
Twisted? No, just bent in several strategic places.
|
||
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
|
||
Two Great Tennesseans: Charlie and Jack Daniels
|
||
Two peanuts were walking down a street, one was assaulted
|
||
Type in the Gettysburg Address to continue..._
|
||
Unbounded is thy rage; with varied style
|
||
Unfair competition: Selling cheaper than we do.
|
||
Unknown Error on Unknown Device for Unexplainable Reason.
|
||
Use DEVICE = EXXON to screw up your environment.
|
||
Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight.
|
||
Vacation in the billion worlds of a used book store . . .
|
||
Vampire making daquiri: blend me a tenor.
|
||
Vampire robs sperm bank in state of confusion, news at 11
|
||
Veni Vidi Fetuccini: I came, I saw, I had lunch.
|
||
Veni, vidi, clinti: I came, I saw, I lied.
|
||
Very good, Einstein, but next time show your work.
|
||
Veteran of the Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force 1990-1951
|
||
Viking Foreplay: "HEY! YOU! C'MERE!"
|
||
Violence in reality is quite different from theory.
|
||
Virus located. Delete c:\window\*.*? y/n
|
||
Visit your money this year: Vacation in Washington DC
|
||
void main (void) { if (windows=="useful") hell=frozen } <20>
|
||
Vote NO with the weapon of your choice.
|
||
Wagner's music is better than it sounds. - Twain
|
||
Wanderers and nomads have gone to see their chieftains.
|
||
Wanna do something big? Pick up a boulder.
|
||
Wanna read a good horror novel? Get a history book
|
||
Want more grey hair? Teach your child to drive!
|
||
Want my guns? Come in range and get them.
|
||
Want to own a small business? Buy a big one and wait...
|
||
Wanted dead or alive -- Schrodinger's cat!
|
||
Wanted: Guillotine operator. Good chance to get ahead.
|
||
Wanted: Programmers. Some assembly required.
|
||
War is just Nature's way of keeping humanity in check.
|
||
War never decides who is right, only who is left.
|
||
Warm the Northeast...use aerosol spray!
|
||
Warning: bonds skin.
|
||
Warnings are for people without imagination.
|
||
Warped, and proud of it.
|
||
Warped, twisted, sick, and proud of it.
|
||
Watch it - You're trying my infinite patience
|
||
Ways to skin a cat: #27 --- Use a belt sander.
|
||
We are NOT surrounded. We are in a target-rich environment.
|
||
We come in peace, shoot to kill.
|
||
We come not to discuss reality, but to use the BBS.
|
||
We don't care, we don't have to: We're Exxon.
|
||
We don't care. We don't have to. We're The Phone Company.
|
||
We have enough scientists; we need more hunchbacks, Igor.
|
||
We have met the enemy and they is us.
|
||
We have nothing to fear but sanity itself.
|
||
We must flee before they set loose the marmosets upon us!
|
||
We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.
|
||
We said you'd get your money back, we didn't say when.
|
||
We should back the Metric system every inch of the way
|
||
We used to be Schizophrenic.
|
||
We want a war the whole family can watch!
|
||
We want peaceful relations, or we'll blow up your planet.
|
||
We would gladly feast on those who would subdue us.
|
||
We'll get standards even if we have to bribe someone!
|
||
We're entering the Bond-Age, in more ways than one.
|
||
We've broken the space-time continuum and passed the savings on to you!
|
||
We've missed you; we'll aim better next time!
|
||
Welcome to hell -- here's your copy of Windows.
|
||
Well, at least I'm improving my cold tolerance.
|
||
Well, I might be high, but...but I'm REAL fast!
|
||
Well, I'd like to see you resist.
|
||
Well, it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
|
||
Well, it was only plan A; plan B is much more interesting. Really.
|
||
Well, it worked the last time I tried this....
|
||
Well, it's got *SOME* rat in it .....
|
||
Whaddya mean you don't STAPLE diskette labels on?
|
||
What colour wine is served with BOILED TONGUE?
|
||
What does it mean when your fortune cookie is empty?
|
||
What does the Infantry call Airborne? Skeet Shoot!
|
||
What does this red button do?
|
||
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
|
||
What has 4 legs and an arm? A pit bull.
|
||
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
|
||
What is Redneck foreplay? (Nudge) Are you awake?
|
||
What is the purpose of hanging up if I'm calling again tomorrow?
|
||
What is this tiny hole in the bathroom wall for?
|
||
What type of support were you looking for? Tech or Jock?
|
||
What we need is a Pizza Door and a Beer Door
|
||
What?!? DOSSHELL *isn't* supposed to be a joke?
|
||
When all else fails, do something else.
|
||
When all else fails, refer to the destructions.
|
||
When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults.
|
||
When donating your brain to science, make sure science wants it.
|
||
When governments fall, people like me are lined up & shot
|
||
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
|
||
When I was a kid we had to carve our CPU's out of wood...
|
||
When in doubt - comment it out.
|
||
When in doubt, attack the old bearded guy in the back.
|
||
When in doubt, run in circles and scream and shout.
|
||
When life gets weird, the weird get a life.
|
||
When need arises, any tool close to you becomes a hammer
|
||
When people agree with me, I always feel that I must be wrong.
|
||
When subtlety fails us we must resort to cream pies.
|
||
When symmetries are broken, things begin.
|
||
When the going gets tough, most people leave
|
||
When the mind is ready, a teacher appears. - Zen
|
||
When you get there, there's no there there.
|
||
When you seek it, you cannot find it. -Zen
|
||
When's the trial? - Right after the hanging...
|
||
Where are we going...and why am I in this handbasket??
|
||
where do they hide those swords????!!!
|
||
Where do you find 100 talking invertebrates? The US Senate!
|
||
Where might is master, justice is servant.
|
||
Where they burn books, people are next.
|
||
Which one of you alien sombitch artists made these gawddammed circles?
|
||
Which version of the truth would you prefer today?
|
||
Which way did they go!? I'm they're leader!!
|
||
While the lunatic dreams, the Earth changes
|
||
Whip me, beat me and cover me in chocolate. Please.
|
||
Whip me; beat me; make me register bad software.
|
||
Whips & chains? Sorry, thats a hardware problem.
|
||
White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship.
|
||
Who beta tested Preparations A through G?
|
||
Who is General Failure and why's he reading my hard disk?
|
||
Who popped the cork on my lunch!?
|
||
Who wants to live forever?
|
||
Who watches the watchmen?
|
||
Who you callin' "argumentative", Bucko?
|
||
Whoever said that work was fun, didn't work!
|
||
Whom gods would destroy, they first teach MS-DOS.
|
||
Whom the mad would destroy, they first make gods.
|
||
Why are there so many gnarly limbs on my family tree?
|
||
Why be normal?
|
||
Why buy Cologne when you can wipe a magazine on yourself.
|
||
Why do they put locks on the doors of 24 hour stores?
|
||
Why get even, when you can get odd?
|
||
Why me?
|
||
Why not invite her over for a Scotch and sofa?
|
||
Why?
|
||
Wife: A slave who demands to be set on a throne<6E>
|
||
William K. Smith:"Wait, my uncle Ted can drive you home."
|
||
WindowError:001 Windows loaded. System in danger.
|
||
WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted. System confused.
|
||
WindowError:00F Unexplained Error, Please tell us how it happened.
|
||
WindowError:01E Timing error. Please wait eight years...
|
||
Windows - the solution to a problem that didn't exist
|
||
Windows 3.1 -- The best $89 solitaire game on the market.
|
||
Windows Backup Started: Insert disk 1 of 38,544
|
||
Windows Error 005: Multitasking attempted. System confused.
|
||
Windows Error: 002 - No error yet ...
|
||
Windows Error: 004 - Operator fell asleep while waiting.
|
||
Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
|
||
Windows isn't crippleware: it's "Fuctionally Challenged"
|
||
Windows NT: An imaginary OS for your imaginary 686 PC.
|
||
Windows NT: Needs Terabytes
|
||
Windows NT: The only 80 meg solitaire game.
|
||
Windows NT? Is that the new NinTendo GUI?
|
||
Windows: big, expensive, pretty virus.
|
||
Windows: Proof that MS has a room of monkeys with PC's
|
||
Windows: the $89 solution to your excess speed problem.
|
||
Windows:(n.)1. Something that comes with the mouse you bought.
|
||
Windows:(n.)2. The Gates of hell.
|
||
Windows:(n.)4. Proof that God has a sense of humor.
|
||
Windoze for Workgroups: Why crash 1 when you can crash 6?
|
||
Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions - Bll Gats, 192
|
||
Winning or losing doesn't matter until you lose...
|
||
Winter is Natures way of saying, "Up Yours!"
|
||
Wise Man cross river *THEN* insult alligator.
|
||
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them...
|
||
With caller ID, Cthulhu hasn't dialed out in ages!...
|
||
With consequences, the unexpected always predominate.
|
||
Wizard's Guild Parking: Violators will be toad.
|
||
Women and cats do as they like. Men and dogs better get used to it.
|
||
Women are to be served and obeyed!
|
||
Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal<61>
|
||
WOMEN-Wierd Obnoxious Male Enticing Nymphs
|
||
Women... you can't live with 'em... pass the beer nuts.
|
||
Women: Can't live with 'em, and sheep can't cook.
|
||
Won spell Czecker, works grate! $5 oar best offer.
|
||
Work fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours.
|
||
Would all ghouls in the audience please raise their talons?
|
||
Would you prefer cache or chkdsk for payment?
|
||
WOW! I Didn't know a 386 could smoke like that!!!
|
||
Write all complaints legibly in this space -> []
|
||
Written at @TIME@, on @MONTH@ @DATE@ in Knoxville, Tn.
|
||
Written on a Cray Laptop (I'm from Texas and I'm BIG)
|
||
Yeah, but what's the speed of darkness...
|
||
Yes, I do believe that is my axe in your chest...
|
||
Yes, son, long ago, mail was written with pen and paper.
|
||
You and me against the world? Great! When do we attack?!?
|
||
You are only young once, but you can always be immature
|
||
You are the Amoeba. You have the power to Flow.
|
||
You are the Senate. You have the power to filibuster.
|
||
You can lead a man to knowledge, but you cannot make him think.
|
||
You can tie me up, but you can't tie me down.
|
||
You can trust me. I'm not a doctor.
|
||
You CAN trust the government...ask any Indian.
|
||
You could have knocked me over with a fender.
|
||
You disgust me! Do it some more....
|
||
You don't still use a human and a keyboard do you?
|
||
You expect mere PROOF to change my opinion?
|
||
You gawddammed aliens keep your ship out of my wheat field!!!
|
||
You got any more taglines I can plagerize?
|
||
You haven't lived a full life until you're dead.
|
||
You hold 'em off, I'll go for help. (heh-heh-heh)
|
||
You Klingon son, you killed my bastard... err, wait...
|
||
You know what they say about paradigms: shift happens
|
||
You know, my sister was bitten by a moose once...
|
||
You laughable bowl of mutilated cow cud.
|
||
You live and learn. Or you don't live long. - Robert Heinlein
|
||
You make it we take it.
|
||
You may be recognized soon. Perhaps you should hide?
|
||
You may be Southern -- but you're no Comfort.
|
||
You now have 10 minutes to reach a safe distance.
|
||
You remind me of myself, confused and hungover...
|
||
You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
|
||
You shall know the truth, and it shall make you odd.
|
||
You should presently be able to deal from a full deck.
|
||
You'll never be the man your mother was!
|
||
You're a Redneck if: You're entertained by a 6-pack
|
||
You're all insane and trying to steal my magic bag
|
||
You're floatin' for a slit-throatin'...
|
||
You're in a maze of twisty echo conferences, all alike.
|
||
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
|
||
You're really strange @TO@, really strange...
|
||
You're right - now shut up, someone might hear you....
|
||
You're sick and you're twisted...Are we related???
|
||
You're staring at me like I'm driving the nails.
|
||
You're twisted and sick, I like that in a person.
|
||
You're twisted, perverted and sick. I like that.
|
||
You're worse than a fungus...
|
||
You've got nicer legs than Hitler...
|
||
Your eyes are a striking shade of (insert color)
|
||
Your father is waiting for you in the toolshed...
|
||
Your friendly neighbourhood Thought Police . . .
|
||
Your Lucky Number Has Been Disconnected.
|
||
Your mileage may vary. Your car may not run.
|
||
Your new credit limit is $1. Have a nice day.
|
||
Your proctologist called. He found your head.
|
||
Yours for the asking. Torture never works.
|
||
Yur'assic Park: Where you butt is on the line daily
|
||
Zealots have fanatical tendencies.
|
||
Zen Crafters - enlightenment in about an hour.
|
||
Zen Druids practice Transcendental Vegetation.
|
||
Zo! Lie here and tell me about your mother, Herr Heinlein!
|
||
Zymurgy is the best hobby around, homemade hangovers...
|
||
[Maxim XII] Plan and Replan Your Sequence -Brown
|
||
_You_ see a coffin. _I_ see a cheap living module.
|